In less than two weeks, (13 days), I’ll be 54 years old with a full head of curly gray hair.
Not like when I turned 50. Nope, not at all like that. I had just colored my hair. My hairstylist called it a fun Auburn-brownish color.
She had humored my desire to match it to one stray hair that always seemed to come in Auburn-like, it was similar to my mom’s hair when she was young. And, since I have hazel eyes, I thought it would be the perfect ‘youthful’ look for being 50.
WOW – That was four years ago.
Well, holy sh*t, that came up fast, BOOM outta nowhere, I’m suddenly not going to be the 53-year-old me or the 50-year-old me, I’ll be 54. Where did the 30 years since I was 24 go? I had long black hair with a random gray one here and there that I’d let just stray.
I wasn’t worried about going gray at that stage. I just was worried about matching shirts with my Mr.
At 52, though, I was bothered about fighting the gray, and I was sick of trying to look 24 again. That’s the year I decided, I’m done with the bottle and I’m doing it…I’m going gray.
Except, I did enjoy trying to look like I fit in with our two 20 something beauties…
But they supported me during the going gray transition.
Jeez…my how the time has flown. Have I grown, just like my kids have grown? One year ago, man…?
It’s almost family photo time again, I can’t wait to see how we’ve all grown.
Yes, dagnabit I have grown. And so has my hair.
The two years spent growing out the gray seemed to take FOREVER. Why is that? Hair grows at the same average pace.
In just one year’s time, my hair grew fast…
I’ve been wondering a lot about why, to me, in this past year’s timeframe, my hair seems to have grown so fast in comparison to when I wanted it to grow. Back then it grew at a snail’s pace.
What’s the difference?
It’s me. I’m the difference.
Dang…it’s always about me and what I’m focusing on that makes the difference in how I look at life and myself.
Back then I was focused on (obsessing) every day on the pace the gray hairs were growing instead of just letting it grow.
I was, in a way, afraid of who I’d end up looking like.
- Would I like myself?
- Would anyone else like me?
- Would I be okay with the me that went against those who enjoy the coloring bottle?
- Would I lose friends or status at work?
- Would I eventually cave in and color again?
Most of all, I wondered if I would be okay with the real me? Would all of my choosing to going gray effort be worth it in the end?
Would I like my every day, this is ME look?
Hell yea – I love every wild and crazy gray curl I have – it’s rebellious just like me! It was wild and crazy when I was 24 and it’ll still be wild and crazy at 54.
Bring on year 54…bring on a much-needed haircut?… Or bring on bangs…maybe I need bangs…? Oy…girls, I tell ya…girls and their hair!
So yeah, in the end, I’m a girl, and girls ponder about their hair. Whether it is gray, brown, curly, straight, purple, or pink, or every shade in-between, we all tend to think, and worry, and wonder about our hair.
That sad but true fact never changes. What we can change is our attitudes about ourselves and our love of the ME we want to BE. As long as we love ourselves, that’s all that really matters. And, I yes, I’m going to love the 54 gray-haired me.
Post Inspiration – Reflections on Going Gray
It’s interesting…I don’t polish my nails (don’t like the chemicals), have never, ever had a pedicure, won’t ever consider cosmetic surgery…but I do color my hair. I guess I just love the color and the fun of having hair a shade I wasn’t born with. Though I have to admit, I hate the chemicals. LOL
You’ve found what is fun to you about your hair, that’s what counts! The freedom from chemicals was definitely a deciding factor for me. Enjoy being you! 🙂
Right back to ya! 🙂
Rock the Gray!! That’s my motto 🙂 I surely don’t miss the once-a-month evening of stinky coloring. My sister Christine went gray at the same time I did — she’s now rockin’ a super-short gray hairstyle, no fuss no muss, wash and go. And she flippin’ loves it!
You go, sister — gray, brown, black, purple with pink stripes, or bald, you are a fun and sassy lady. Let is shine.
Yes – the stinky smell, I don’t miss that at all! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for your encouragement – may you and your sister continue rocking your grays too! 🙂
You look beautiful either way Shelley! ❤️😎🙏🏻
Thank you, John!
Fun story. Back in my 50s I fought the grey with Clairol Amethyst which I thought was perfect for my auburn hair. Until I overheard someone say look at that lady with purple hair. 😱 That’s when I went grey, I’ll be 73 next month and I love my grey. It actually has become champagne. Go for it and rock those silver curls!
PS I’m not telling about the wiry texture to come except to say CONDITIONER!
LOL – that’s a funny story, Carol – a colorful reason to stop coloring! I’m so happy to read you love your gray hair too! Thanks for the encouragement, and the forewarning, I shall prepare! 🙂
Here’s my post for today with me in my bad air mask you can see my hair. Hehe
Carol, your post is excellent, thank you for sharing. On a positive note, despite what you’re experiencing in bad air, I love your hair! You are in my thoughts and prayers – stay safe! https://lightwords.blog/2018/11/16/what-stuff-becomes-clear/
Thanks. I appreciate your well wishes so much.
You’re welcome – take care! xx
Here https://lightwords.blog/2018/11/16/what-stuff-becomes-clear/
I think you were cute with dark hair and you’re cute with grey hair. It’s that awesome smile that doesn’t change! I’ll be 60 this month and was being introspective in my last post. I guess certain ages do that to you.
Aw, thank you Happy November birthday to you, too! I loved your post about turning 60 – I’m sharing the link here so others can read your perspective! https://sprawly.wordpress.com/2018/11/15/60/
Thank you Shelley!
What a delightful and heartfelt story. My theory is I EARNED every gray hair and every wrinkle. How dare anyone tell me I am not beautiful now that I am gray. Although I will have to admit with all the yearly medical testing of late, I do periodically get taken back at that person in the mirror. It begs the question, why do they put mirrors in the dressing room. Its just an excuse for a heart attack. LOL. Rock your looks girl, your doing great.
I love your wisdom, Anita, you’re right, we earn every hair and wrinkle. LOL – I think the same thing about my own mirrors some days. Thank you for your encouragement, I so appreciate it.
Wow–your hair is gorgeous! Happy (early) Birthday! My boys turn 9 today!
Thank you, Rebecca! Happy birthday to your son…9…oh my, I remember my daughters turning that age. Enjoy it, it flies by fast!
I love your hair! The natural curls are fabulous! I don’t color my hair now, mainly to save money. I have no issue or philosophy about it otherwise and happily went to the salon for various highlights and colors up until several years ago when I began to really freak out about my retirement finances. I’m 57 and have some grey… maybe around 20%. It blends well with the light brown and I still keep my hair long, with bangs, because I like it that way. I get it cut once a year or so, around 4 inches, and do the bangs myself in between. The only thing I caved to as far as aging was hemlines ~ I gave up short skirts even though my legs still look good. I’m just not comfortable in them now.
Thank you, Paula – I appreciate hearing your support and your story about decisions re your hair. It is definitely a cost saving to eliminate the coloring on a regular basis. I’ve been tempted to do my own bang cutting…maybe someday soon… LOL on hemlines – way to do what works for YOU!
I’ve never colored my entire head of hair but I have put blonde streaks in it a few times. Now I just let it be. I wish I had your head of hair, no matter what color. Mine is so thin and fine.
Thank you for sharing – I love that you let it be like I do and that you’re willing to accept who you are. Which is beautiful, by the way – that smile of yours is so bright and cheery, and the hairstyle is a perfect match to go along with your smile. 🙂
I like your hair either way Shelley and I am sure it was a pain to grow it out – a long and painful process and in the Winter you can grow it out using hats – one great trick. My hair is light brown and I have some gray but those awful wiry-looking sprigs that crop up and stick out. Hate them. I highlighted my long, layered hair since around 2000 mostly to give it body and a little variety … now I have gotten those wiry sprigs I get lowlights as well. I like the stylist who does my hair but occasionally she over-blondes me … my hair spends most of it time up in a messy bun while walking or even here during the day. I am not used to having it down anymore so sometimes I wonder why have long hair, though I’ve never been able to work with my hair well, so short hair is not an option. I have a funny story about my mom growing her hair out though. My mom was born a brunette, very dark hair, almost black. My mom was hit by a car at age 11 and spent the next four years in the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto. She underwent 42 operations in her life, most of them before her 20s. So all that stress and sickness caused her hair to turn gray barely into her 20s. She had it dyed once a month at a salon for decades and decided to stop. Her hair grew very fast and she didn’t get out much in the Winter so decided to let it grow out over the course of the Winter. Her hairdresser suggested getting it highlighted to minimize the “skunk” look that she knew she would not like and was inevitable. So, her hair grew so fast, within a few weeks she had not only the line, but the back was growing out gray and you couldn’t really see the highlights since her hair was always so short. She went back to get the partial highlights I believe in late October as she was still hatless and told the hairdresser she looked like the back end of a deer when its tail goes up. So, finally she grew out her hair, was all gray and got a very short cut to get rid of her former color. We went to the grocery store and she had a new coat on. I left her with the cart, and went over a few aisles to pick up some groceries to bring back to put in the cart. I walked up/down the aisle looking for my mom and the cart, and the whole time grumbling under my breath. I passed her by multiple times until she called out “you stupid fool – where the h*ll do you think I went?” You would not believe the difference – it was like night and day with all her hair shorn off and cut so short. She looked like a different person, believe me!
Thank you, Linda – I appreciate hearing your stories. I’m glad to read you’ve found a path that works for you and your hair. Wow, that’s one tough way to go gray, my journey was way easier in comparison. That’s funny that you didn’t recognize your mom in the grocery store!!
Well it was funny when you posted that because I had a hair appointment last Saturday for highlights/lowlights and I go three times a year usually. So last Friday they predicted a Wintry precip overnight and a wind chill of about 7, blustery and very slippery. All the stations predicted that weather for two days in advance, so I cancelled my appointment without rescheduling it. I didn’t want to wait til the last minute and had it not been icy I would have walked as it is only 3 1/2 miles round trip. But I worried that it might be icy and felt I did the right thing. Last Saturday it was not that bad at all, could have driven, could have walked – so, unless I cancel, I will have springy gray hairs – they are mostly around my crown. I wear a hat all Winter and am certainly not a gadabout, so will be fine and may try to get in for a cut if she’s not busy. I have long layers so I can’t cut it myself. I told her I’ll come in April – maybe the snow and whatever else is falling from the sky is done by then. Someone told me, and I think it was my boss, that I always seem to have story for everything – I believe it was Robb as he said you have a small circle of friend and zero family, so how have you amassed so many stories? “I dunno” I replied. “I’m just fascinating I guess.” He had no response to that. It was funny about my mom and she had a red coat on and she always favored dark-colored jackets so that was part of it. That story was told and re-told and each time I looked like a dunce. Nothing was so bad as my mom’s friend coming to visit from Canada. She came from Toronto on the Greyhound bus and I worked in downtown Detroit at the time, so she was to arrive after I got off work at night, and I was just to walk over to the Greyhound station to get her and we were going to come home on the suburban bus together. So Mrs. Gibbs, a childhood friend of my mom’s, was a yo-yo dieter and had been her entire life. She had two wardrobes in her closet – fat and skinny clothes, before it was fashionable. My mother had said to me “I wonder if you should look for a slim or fat Irene?” We laughed but it was not so funny because I arrived at the bus station timely and no Irene Gibbs. I was getting ticked off as there were only two more buses to the suburbs left that night and I didn’t want us going on a City bus as it only went to the city limits of Lincoln Park. Unbelievably, there was only one woman in the Greyhound station – she was very heavyset and had a blonde curly perm and looked like a Sharpei dog because she had so many wrinkles. I looked at her. “Nah” … can’t be Mrs. Gibbs. Meanwhile she had used a couple of dimes and called home and said “Linda is not here” while (you guessed it … like something out of a comedy skit) I was in another pay phone calling my mom and saying “Mrs. Gibbs must have missed the bus as the station said the bus was on time.” Great mystery! Turned out the heavyset lady with the poodle hair and the deep wrinkles was Mrs. Gibbs! I had not seen her in a decade and I think I looked the same. We had to go on the City bus and call a neighbor to come fetch us from the Detroit/Lincoln Park city limits. My mother did not drive. So, please don’t let these two stupid incidents make you think less of me. 🙂
LOL – Linda your ability to tell stories amazes me! Thanks for sharing with me – I can’t top your creativity and I definitely don’t think less of you, that’s for sure :-)!
Well thanks for saying that Shelley, but in the creative department you have got it nailed as well, believe me! And you post daily – that is very difficult to come up with something to post about every day. Now, for me, I could see something that will trigger a post when I am out on a walk, but I don’t know if I could sustain a daily posting schedule. I was trying to elicit a few laughs when I entitled today’s post “Fat-Bottomed Squirrels” which is now an ear worm for me by the way!
LOL – blog writing daily is therapy for me and a habit I enjoy. LOL – those squirrel photos were intriguing – WOW! I’m trying to not get the earworm…thank you for the forewarning! 😉 You’re incredibly creative, I admire that about you!
It is good therapy for both of us and I wish I had more time to do it – I hate when I have a great idea and it is not “evergreen” and work gets in the way – that darn work! Hard not to get an earworm with Queen music … I’m not a big rock band fan but did like their music. Thank you Shelley – I try to do funny posts sometimes and after spying a few wide squirrel rears, I knew I could comment on them. I sometimes do funny stuff on a Tuesday and call it “Tuesday Musings”, but it is never regular enough to make it a regularly scheduled feature. Sometimes those “musings” are ponderings about things in the world that bemuse me or make me SMH … there is a lot of that going around.
Ah, you’ve described the life of a blogger to a ‘t’! Keep up the great work – your efforts are noticed and appreciated! xx
Thank you – yours as well. I have to keep up with e-mails and Facebook and find it difficult now with the blogging. I never post on Facebook but have four friends that I follow but I just pop onto their “Wall” and keep up that way rather than having them in my newsfeed. I have news in my feed instead, but I’m finding it difficult to keep up with them. My friend in grad school won’t e-mail until she has a break in her studies, then sends me several very long posts that I can’t always get right back to. What did we do with ourselves before social media?
I hear ya! Remember writing handwritten notes and handing them to our friend’s hands in-between classes or sticking them in their locker doors!?! LOL – if you find a trick to keeping up, let me know!
I sure do remember that Shelley … and we signed our name with flourishes and curliques and for me, a heart representing the dotted “i” in Linda. Even my handwriting looks hurried and scrawled anymore – I barely write anything anymore except Christmas cards and letters tucked inside and that’s only or my mom’s friends who are not online.
Yes – we were creative in our signatures!! I remember that too. I didn’t have an ‘i’ to dot, but I had the ‘y’ to curl – just like my sausage roll of curls around my head. I’ve heard that we remember things better as well as make better connections in our brain when we put pen to paper. I may explore that more this coming year…
Oh yes, the “y” … you could do a ton of flourishes and curliques with a “y” … just pity our buddies who had no “i” or “y” … what did they do I wonder? I had those sausage rolls too, but had to use spongy curlers to get them And remember tendrils for when you pulled your front part of your hair up on top and secured it with a ribbon (which you curled to look like curling ribbon) and let the rest of your hair hang down – you had to have fat tendrils near your ears? I am older than you, so this fad may have passed before you did it. I did a whole post about turning 60 and all the fads that I’d seen through my first sixty years … it was a real trip down memory lane. Here it is for sometime when you have a half-hour to while away: https://lindaschaubblog.net/2016/04/14/the-ultimate-throwback-thursday/
A few years ago, Mary decided to stop coloring her hair (which she’d only been doing for a couple of years) and just let it go natural, and decided to stop wearing makeup and just put a little Lubriderm on her face every day. Her hair started going gray (it’s still quite dark) and after a couple of months people started telling her that her hair looked great and had she colored it. She also started getting compliments on her skin, something she had never gotten. The point is, you look good and don’t need to color your hair.
Thank you, John! I appreciate your support and tell Mary, she’s one lucky lady to have you in her life bragging up her natural beauty!
Happy early birthday!! I agree that it’s mind boggling how fast time goes. It leaves me in its dust. Embrace the grey hair, just as you are doing right now!! Your hair is cute as well as your smile. It’s so hard to try to look like the past…why do we spend so much time obsessing?!?! gotta be graceful and lovely in the present. Confidence and self acceptance make all the difference.
Have a great weekend!! xoxoxox
Thank you, I appreciate your support and excellent advice – you’re so wise for your age! Keep smiling – hope you have a great weekend too!
Thank you! I don’t see myself as wise but I’ll take your complinent, which totally made my day. Take care and let’s keep on loving ourselves just as we are.