Wait for it – the meat and mattress meet

When you spend years with a mattress, you leave behind an astral counterpart of yourself imprinted for the future to see.

GROSS

When you think about it that way, “No shit that’s gross.”  I feel for the delivery guys who bring in the new and take out the old.

GROSS

What’s worse?  All of us sleep on our mattresses for years creating the gross ditches.  When we move on to a new mattress, the old is transported off to be recycled forever.  A part of you is gone – thankfully in the form of the aches and pains in your neck and back part of you.  Gone forever, that is until the new mattress takes you down the same old beaten path.

What do you do while you wait for the new mattress to arrive?  Well, what everyone else does of course.

You clean under the bed.

Once you’re done, the reveal of the glorious 1990’s pink carpeting makes you wish you would’ve redone the floor at the same time.  You realize there is a dismal chance of doing so as you calculate (again) the daily rate the new mattress costs.  You go to that extreme to find the smallest increment of cost because the initial purchase price shock still lingers in the air.

You’re ready for the chunk of change to arrive, and then you wait.  The foggy feeling lingers in the air.  Did you make the right decision – will the bed really feel like heaven on earth?

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Now what?

You wait and watch Mr. play with his new toy and some meat.

What?

Yep.  Meat and fish and a new toy.  Jeez, don’t you know how to have fun like we do??

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Isn’t handling meat what everyone else does while they wait for a new mattress to arrive?

No, other people (like me) grab their camera and document the meat handling exhibition.

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And then the meat is all gone to freezer heaven, and you wait.  Anticipation continues to grow.

The phone rings, and YES! the delivery guys are on their way.

The excitement is just too much, you grab your camera, and lurk in the corner of the window – so they don’t see you taking pictures, because, that’s so pathetically weird.

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In record speed, the delivery and removal happen.  In with the new, out with the old.

Bye, Bye, Bye old gross mattress!

 

The hand-tufted pillows from heaven shall bring us sweet dreams tonight.  At least that’s what the salesman told us.   They look like craters on the moon.  They look bumpy, but when you lay on them, man o’ man, it is comfy!

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“Ah…it’s too early to go to bed, let’s go out to lunch to celebrate.  Why not spend more money, right?  Besides, we froze the meat for another day remember?”

Copper jumps on the bed, (somehow he miraculously doesn’t need his little staircase to get on the new bed, hmm…) gives us the look, “Wait…where are you going, I thought we were going to bed now?  We waited all morning for this glorious bed to arrive…”

We headed out the door, drove around the block, over the river, and through the woods, and right back home.  It appeared that every other person in the neighborhood chose to congregate at joints to celebrate the arrival of a new mattress – every place we drove by was packed at lunchtime.  Imagine that?

Since we froze all the meat, the next best thing to a juicy burger and fries at a bar (aka, greasy comfort food) – you got it – frozen pepperoni with extra cheese pizza (restaurant quality per the box), rinsed down with a couple of beers, and it was home sweet home for lunch.

Handling so much meat in one day is exhausting.

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And then, you got it, we waited…for a respectable time to go to bed (7:00 pm is late enough for a Saturday night). 

And…this morning?  We both said in unison, “So, how did you sleep?”

It was the best night of sleep.  Thank goodness, the verdict is, “No more Old Man & Old Lady back aches this morning!!”  Hallelujah!!  It was heavenly and so worth the wait.