For some people, wedding vows follow the traditional verbiage. My husband and I did just that, so what’s the big deal?
In retrospect, (because we always see better that way right?) our vows were missing something. I’m not sure the priest would’ve known either or if he could’ve coached us to add anything at the time?
Come to think of it, does anyone really know the future at the time they prepare themselves to say “I do?” Often times, it’s the – “Holy crap, I’m sweating, why am I so nervous, what the heck am I getting myself into?” type of conversation going on in each person’s head. The priest can predict that type of feeling, but not the rest of their lives.
Our priest was a builder of people for the church pews, not of houses, rooms, desks with shelves, decks, forts for the kids, teahouses, fences, rental property repairs, and all kinds of make-shift shit, etc.? You know, the stuff that really makes one (my husband and sometimes me) sweat.
The best way to predict the future is to create it. – Peter Drucker
Way back then (in the 1990’s), the priest didn’t ask us to write our own vows or if we wished to include anything in the vows about physically constructing our future selves. It was all the spiritual stuff. Don’t get me wrong, that’s needed and appreciated and the truth is, at that time, we really liked the traditional wedding theme so we didn’t even ask for anything different. We were the white gown and tux kind of couple, and into it for the long haul.
If we knew back then, what we know now, we could’ve tweaked our vows to each other. And they should’ve gone something like this:
I take this woman/man to be my lawfully wedded wife/husband, to have and hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, to love and cherish, and to build, paint, stain, sand, and varnish, until death do us part.
Saying, “I do,” meant we were on the path to building great things together.
Most of our lives together have been DIY undertakings involving me watching my husband (in admiration with glazed over eyes) in all his handiness (adorning his adorable tool belt with magical what-cha-ma-call-it tools), as he has been able to perform great feats of do-it-yourself work.
Each project has been a combination of our elbow greases (‘cuz yes, me just being there cheering him on is helping), and of course, a beer or two along the way. In our books, it is a must to celebrate a good hard day’s work. Many a date-night has been an after 9-5 work deal, where we scrambled to get something ready for the last step of varnishing and polishing it.
Our past and future (including a few hammer to the nail boo-boos, head bumps, residual aches, and pains, etc.) have been created together. Our home is where our hearts are and where every door and frame, pieces of wood trim, room additions, yard enhancements, repairs, and treasures created for our kids have been build together out of love, hard work and vows to varnish until death do us part.
We even have proof – stained and varnished permanently in our banister are my husband’s fingerprints for us to admire for eternity!
Cheers to true love and all the coats of varnish that keep us together!
