In every excellent marriage there comes a point where you know you’ve waited too long to deal with the elephant in the room.
How do you know when you’re tardy and the time has come to take a bite out of it and make the move?
How do you know when the tough details need to be laid out and discussed?
How do you know when the daily pains of the situation can no longer be denied?
How do you know when the shreds of cover-ups are beyond repair?
10 years is a long time to be together. How can we part? The comfort and memories of warmer times no longer win us over, we simply can’t bear to stay together any longer. We’ve talked about it enough, one of these days we just need to do it.
The moment of truth shall set you free.
The moment comes in the form of a snide comment, not meant to hurt, just the truth and said as a perfect punch line, provoking one to tears.
It comes as you’re making it in the bedroom. Two together is easier than one alone. The tender moments of helping each other, pulling and pushing as the covers fall into place.
Me – “One of these days, we’re going to have to bite the bullet and buy a new mattress.”
My husband – “Yeah, I’m getting tired of sleeping in a ditch.”
Me – “OMG – that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard………(tears rolling down my face as I drop to the floor busting a gut laughing…)…never have I heard a mattress described as a ditch, but, yeah, that’s pretty much it.”
We finish making the bed and glance at the ruts perfectly engraved on each side of the bed. The damn salesman years ago said that wouldn’t happen. But yet it did. No amount of mattress topper or pillows (20 or so at last count, according to the man of the house, ‘there are too many pillows strewn about’) seem to do the trick. No matter how sound your marriage is, there comes a time to let go of an irritant as big as an elephant!
Our 10-year-old Vera Wang Mattress must be ditched, the ruts shall hold us no more.
Do tell – I’d (we’d) love to hear mattress recommendations? No ditches or Vera Wang types either please!
Yeah, when the honeymoon is over, the bloom is off the rose, and all those other euphemisms start being applied to your married life, you know that Queen sized problems are inevitable. Or King, or Twin. Whatever you’re using. (BTW, I recommend replacing ol’ Vera with….a bunk bed! Wheeeeee! I mean, can you think of a better way to keep your marriage young? “I call tops!” “No, I want it!” “Tough, I called it first!!” A wrestling match ensues, and….I think we can all see the benefits now, can’t we?
LOL – that’s some King Sized advice you got going on there…I’ll check with the King of our house – he might just agree with you on the bunk bed idea – we could saw the ruts in half and use them a bit longer before replacing the whole thing…!
We are currently in rut denial. Me perching precariously on the outer edges, pillows packed along my back to prevent myself from falling in (it doesn’t work). Thanks so much for the laughs this morning 😊
Glad to hear we’re not the only couple doing a balancing act while we sleep! If you find a great mattress replacement, let me know! 🙂
Nice blog. Hope mine is fine by God’s grace 🙂
Nice blog. Mine is fine by God’s grace 🙂
You had me, I thought you were talking about your marriage from the title lol! We bought a new mattress and box spring a year ago. The top is memory foam. It already sinks in the middle. So mad. I have such a bad back too. I feel like I need to grt a new mattress but don’t know what kind to get. All of the sales people there said they all had memory foam tops. I call bullshit on that one.
Will do!
Lol! I thought you’re talking about parting with your husband. I’m glad it’s only the bed 😄
LOL – nope, he’s sticking around, it’s just the bed that’s got to go!
I’m glad 😄
We just got a new queen-sized mattress (Sealy Posturepedic) with the pillow topper and its the bomb! I was able to get it on sale and under $600 (for the mattress AND box spring) Love it! A king size would be nice but it would make our bedroom look too small. My hubby has broad shoulders (va va voom!) and when we sleep side by side, he pushes me over. I solved that problem by sleeping upside down. Plenty of room for me to stretch out at the bottom of that bed. And when I’m mad at him on some days, I just casually use my toes to bop him in the head while he’s sleeping and he doesn’t know a thing! What fun!
You hafta change those mattresses at least every ten years. Our other one was was a temperpedic look-a-like and it lasted 12 years BUT it cost us $1500 twelve years ago. Have you priced them out now? UGH!
Good luck. Happy shopping.
BTW, it is very embarrassing to lie down in a bed in front of a sales person. Double ugh.
Cindi – thanks for your thoughts! I’ve heard Sealy is good – don’t they have mattresses in one of the large hotel chains too? I’m pretty sure we’re going to go with something like that since we have to replace it in several years anyhow. LOL – sounds like you two have found your share of fun in the bedroom too ;-)! Yes – our need-to-replace mattress was right up there. It didn’t last 12 like yours though :-(. They are way overpriced! Yes, the salesperson watching us in bed isn’t the most pleasurable experience!! Double ugh is right! As always, it is a pleasure to hear your thoughts!!
Have a good shopping trip. Enjoy! Oh, and happy sleeping……..
Thank you Cindi!! I look forward to happy sleeping….soon….!