As an empty nest mom, I wonder a lot about what my kids might be up to, or how they are doing, or I think about how fun it was to have them arrive home every day after school to tell me how their day went.
They’d go off to their little school and return to the nest and snuggle. And tell me their tales.
It’s crazy to think that our oldest has been out of high school for 10 years. Holy crap…I remember my 10-year high school class reunion. I know it’s true…10 years…but it just doesn’t seem like that much time has crept upon us.
It’s kind of creepy…
It’s great when the girls come home to visit now, or they call me or Skype me to keep me updated, or they send me texts or snaps on SnapChat. Technology keeps us close. I’m grateful for that.
This past week I traveled to visit our youngest. In her world. Not too far from two nature parks.
And then she road-tripped home with me to stay with me and Mr. for a couple of days.
I returned her yesterday, we met her ride home with her significant other at the 1/2 way mark. We stopped at the same gas station that we stopped at on the way home. We brought a few bugs along with us.
We didn’t notice, we talked the whole way. A tender moment was had when I got brave as I mentioned I was struggling on how to be a good mom at this stage in our relationship. I want it to be like she was when she was little and wanted to tell me about everything. I’m feeling awkward – still wanting to do so, yet knowing that it is best to just let her tell me when she’s ready to tell me things.
A mother’s love is carved with so many heartfelt moments.
She agreed – we agreed, so I’m onto keeping a watchful, silent eye – she’ll let me know when she’s ready to share anything.
Whenever I drive away, after leaving her or her sister, I’m reminded about how much I treasure, as well as miss, those in-person moments.
But then I remind myself that I was their ages once, and the last thing I really wanted my mom to do was to miss me. I was young and in love and ready for a life on my own.
Some of her missing me was okay, but too much was not what I wanted to hear about. I’m sure my girls are no different from how I was way back then. A shy muskrat discovering how to fit in as well as stand out on my own.
I wanted my mom to enjoy her empty nest time. She did – she moved on and had a life of her own. I let her climb out of the murky waters. And paint things a different shade of green. Even if she was like me, a little green with envy to be starting anew. But I can do that too, I can renew my quirky self.
I didn’t follow in Mom’s footsteps even though she may have wanted me to.
When I was ready and needed her more again, she welcomed that time in life too. Especially when I became a mom. It allowed her opportunities to revisit the baby and toddler stages.
Those awkward moments of needing mom to model things and help us discover the world are moments we all go through. We argued we laughed, we talked, we eventually agreed to agree or disagree.
No matter what surroundings we live in, or who our parents are, we all have to navigate the world as we grow.
My mom would be thrilled to see how my two kids have grown up. They both are cat moms. I like being a cat-gramma. Cats are easier to entertain when you visit them. They do all the work on their own.
Ah, yes, all parents eventually have an empty nest stage. It’s a good thing, can be lonely, but it can be fun too.
The unusual surprises found in this stage or the adventures out of the routines are some of my favorite moments.
Post Inspired by Hugh for Sunday Stills – Unusual, and Lens-Artists #49 hosted by Patti – Favorite Things.
PS – So…which photo do you think was the most unusual? Which one was your favorite? How about you, what is your favorite part of empty nesting?
I like the turtles. Empty nests are always a little sad, but it is nature’s way.
It is really difficult to transition to being the mom of adults. I have one that says I still treat him like a 5 year old and one that says I ignore her. Fortunately I also has one who says I’m doing okay. (She’s the one with the degree in Psychology so I believe her – LOL). Glad you got to spend some time with yours and have quality conversation!
Thank you for your support – I like how you’ve decided who to listen to too – LOL! This stage in parenting is interesting to navigate, I’m enjoying figuring it out. If that’s possible!?! 😉
That’s a rather incongruous picture of a Kwik Trip in there. It’s my fave.
I admire your taste in photos – that one was taken by my daughter, she felt we needed to document that part of the trip too! 😉
Ah, you are smart to think back to that time in your life. Good advice! Like you, I wanted to be independent…until I needed my mom. LOL. And that’s about how it goes with my grown “kids” too. I love my time with them and have learned to enjoy the solitude of the empty nest as well. Very cute pic of you and your daughter. 🙂
Aw, thanks 🙂 I appreciate your encouragement and support as a fellow empty nesting mom! I’m realizing more and more the things that I never asked my mom, that my two ask me, and the things I did ask my mom that my two don’t ask me. Just adds to the fun of the adventure!
Really well said Shelley. Loved your thoughts on this. As for photos, of course my fav is the one of you and your clone—er…I mean your daughter. Good heavens, she is your image!!!
Thank you, Tina – I appreciate your kind words of encouragement. And…that I look like a 23 year old LOL! 😉
Hi, Shelley. I loved this post and your heart-felt impressions of being a mother of adult kids. It’s tough to navigate. I’m still doing it and my son is now 30. Why aren’t there any books on navigating this stage of life? I feel like you–trying not to interfere, and allowing him space, but at the same time, ready to be “there” if he needs me!
Wonderful words of motherhood. Super photos. She favors you a lot. You obviously have done a great job as she is able to stand on her own, yet knowing if she had to you would.be there. Job well done.
Thank you, Anita – your encouragement means so much to me!
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Aww, I loved this post Shelley and could identify with it so much. My sons are 26 and 29 and both live in the same city but about 2 1/2 hours away from home. I still am finding it hard to adjust to the empty nest. I just miss my kids. Yesterday, I was in a Barnes and Noble and it occurred to me how much I miss reading to by boys! I got a little teary eyed. Those were such happy times!
Gail – I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. This empty nesting thing is tough some days. Oh, my, yes – books and reading to kids, I loved those moments too. We’re both great moms – we’ve done well raising independent kids. I hope you bought yourself a book to enjoy reading! Hugs to you and your empty nest xx!!
Thanks. Yes, I keep telling myself that was the goal, to raise them to be independent and to be good, kind, people. I think I accomplished that but sometimes it feels they are a little too independent! Ha! It will get better…. for both of us! Hugs to you too!
Yes it will. 🙂
Nice post. Your daughter and you really look alike! Was that a muskrat in the water? And that song….I haven’t heard since the 70’s! I do remember the Captain and Tennille, but I don’t think I’ve every seen someone smile so much when they sang!
Thank you, Joni! Yes, it was a muskrat. He didn’t think we saw him. I know…that song popped into my head, and then when I saw the silly video, I just had to include it. They sure were full of smiles!
Not too many songs about muskrats! That song would be considered too cheesy today to make the top ten!
LOL – that’s for sure!!!
Such a lovely post which I can relate to! I love the stories you tell through your photos, beautiful job!!
Thank you, Debbie – I appreciate your feedback. Thank you for stopping by, too – I checked out your Sunday Stills entry and blog. Love the zip-line in the park!!
This really made me think about how my mother felt when we all flew the nest and she found a home all to herself and my stepfather, Shelley. They certainly made the most of it by going away on holiday a lot more, but I wonder how she felt deep down now that the house was almost empty. In fact, I remember how they decided to downsize their home as they didn’t need all the extra bedrooms and space anymore. For me, that would have been a relief, but I wonder how she really felt after all six of her children had flown the nest?
I’m touched that you reflected on your own mother as you read my post. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I had 6 children! First thought would be – yes, downsize to avoid all the cleaning ;-). Thanks for stopping by to read the post, Hugh, I appreciate hearing your thoughts. Thanks again for hosting the Sunday Stills!
Awesome post! Can relate to every sentiment… I endorse that statement – technology keeps us close! Wonder how we would have managed without the wonders of technology – the ipads,mobiles and all related frills like chats n video calls! Now when ever I feel the need to connect, my eyes try to locate where the mobile phone is! It’s literally like having your loved ones in your pocket! I just consider myself lucky to be a part of this era dominated by technology – something our parents didn’t have in their empty nest phase! So I guess it’s a lot easier for us… but there are some days when nothing helps… part of life!
Love the photo of the two girls in love with twinkling eyes 😃
Thank you, I appreciate hearing how my thoughts resonated with you. I agree – we’re lucky to have technology. I love your comment that your eyes try to locate where the phone is ;-)! I do that often. Thank you again, I’m thankful our blogging technology brought you here – I appreciate you popping in to say hi and share your thoughts!
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Love that bird’s nest. We had one fall from a high branch the other day. A couple birds survived; one didn’t. I feel for you, with your girls, as I’m already not as needed with my guys as I was just a year ago, and I’m so not COOL! Sounds like you had a nice visit and meaningful conversation. And before long I’m sure you won’t be only a cat gramma, and things will change again!
Thank you, Rebecca. I’m in awe of the idea that the birds just discard their nests and move on. We don’t do that as easily as human parents. We remodel…or downsize. Hmm…now that sounds like an adventure. Hang in there during the “not COOL moments” – those are tough, I remember them well. But they pass too!
A cat-gramma is a good thing. I hear we’re years out for the next phases of a grandma, probably a good thing, I’m still adjusting to this one! 😉
OMG – I almost forgot to mention to you that we talked about you and your blog post about Prince and Michael Perry. Thank you for providing me with food for thought on the drive with my daughter!
Happy to! Like I said, these days any “kid” conversation I’m a part of, I’m less than cool. So I’m happy to pass along the cool guys–like Michael Perry and Prince!
Yes, it was cool stuff to talk about! PS – You’re ‘cool’ in my book! 😉
Ha! Thanks, Shelley! You, too!
Hi Shelley, it’s nice to read that moms of adult daughters have these awkward moments, months or years. I’ve been through what you are going through now with your daughter. My youngest moved 500 miles away to San Diego and we don’t talk on the phone as much as I do with my oldest daughter. My youngest has been unemployed for a few months and I’ve seen her more in the last 2 months than I have in 2 years! She has that care taker temperament and drove up here while I recover from foot surgery to help me out for several days. Needless to say we have bonded again and I’m grateful to her for her time. It’s likely an ongoing battle, my friend, but our daughters love us and we are responsible for providing those wings with which they now fly.
Hi Terri – thank you for sharing your support and your story about your daughters. It’s tough when they move so far away. You must’ve done something right to have her kind heart shine through and help you in your time of need. All of these events make us stronger together and help us continue to grow when we’re apart. Hugs and healing to you – I so appreciate hearing your words of wisdom! xx
Oh Shelley – you know I love all these nature photos … this is the duckling fix I have been looking for. I wanted to see them this year (and the cygnets too) and was out of luck. Seeing the protective Mama with her ducklings just warmed me to the core. And the goslings and turtles too – your goslings are still in the cute stage. I especially like that the turtles were fearless around the Mama duck. We don’t have that many ducks at the Ecorse Creek and the turtles aren’t willing to share their partially submerged log with them – the line up in a row and hog it for themselves. 🙂 And I would love to see a sandhill crane – I keep reading about the adventures of the gosling and colt and the pair of cranes in Jocelyn’s blog and feel I am missing out on something. I really enjoyed your photos and you and your daughter look so much alike!
Being an empty nest mom is not the easiest thing in the world is it? I find myself wistfully remembering the days of having 3 little boys underfoot all the time. Then I remember the all-pervasive tiredness and the stress of having little people depend on you, and I am happy for my life the way it is now – just Hubs and me, almost like it was when we were first married, only wrinklier and with more money! 🙂
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Yes, Laurie, I agree with your sentiments – it is nice to remember the fun of their youth, and it is nice to be reminded of the new stages of freedom we have rekindling our youth ;-)!
Great photos. Superb story.