The Dubious Minimalist Skinny Jeans Diet

Well, today’s the day.  The big reveal.  Will there be a miracle on the 34th step on the scale?

It’s been 34 days since I began my Dubious Minimalist Skinny Jeans Diet ^TM (DMSJ).  Has it worked?

I don’t know yet…

What?

Nope, I’m still standing here in my cozy robe (because, duh, that is my choice for writing attire in the wee hours of the morning) plotting out my morning routine to make sure I get in a proper weigh-in before my physical appointment.  Once I weigh-in and get the proper weight, I’ll know if the first step of the diet has worked at all in the last 34 days.

I’m hoping for a miracle – proof positive with a proper weight.

A proper weight is the main part of the whole DMSJ diet.  Weighing yourself on a daily basis is a must.  Oh, sorry, I guess I do kind of know how I’ve been doing since there are daily weigh-ins.  But…today, is the DAY, I’ll know if I met my goal to weigh less than I did last year at my physical.

I cut myself some slack, I didn’t really set a big goal, just a small goal.  It is a dubious minimalist diet, for chrissake.  Instead, I just paid attention to how our cats stay svelte, well, Tizzie anyhow.  And tried to keep my mind off of how tight those jeans were as they kept me from eating too much.

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A huge part of the diet has been to drink a lot of water.  (Instead of that extra beer and such fun things like that.)  I must say, I am feeling a bit waterlogged.  I took some lessons from Tizzie when she drank, I drank.  She is always on the scout out for water and has loved my water glasses sitting around.  I rinse my glass and get fresh water often.  Don’t ya cat haters worry now, I’ve only let her do this once (that I know of) for the photo opportunity, jeez…I’m not that weird!

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It’s been a bumpy ride (cellulite bumps showing through the skinny jeans and all – thank goodness for long dress shirts!) and a lot of water washed down the drain.

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But, heck now, it’s all just water under the bridge.  I don’t know what I was expecting trying to do a diet during the holidays anyhow? Why was it that I made an appointment at this time of the year?  Oh yeah, it’s an annual deal.  Let’s just see what the Doc has to say for 2018…I betcha it’ll end up being 2019 at the beginning of the year!  I’m pretty darn sure she won’t be working on a Saturday or Sunday!

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Wait…what about the skinny jeans component of the DMSJ diet?

Well, the skinny jeans part has been a cozy reminder of the goal at hand (or thigh, or waist, or calf, or…oh my gosh everywhere they are cuddling me).  They have proven to be just daily clothing, not a huge part (there’s not a lot of material there to work with) of the diet I’ve loved the most.  I was skeptical from the start.  The jury is still out on the skinny jeans!  They do look adorable on my daughters – aka, my role models or those who talked me into them in the first place.

I’ll put the comfy things on again today after I’ve done the morning weigh-in routine.  That’s my sure way of knowing that I’ll fit into them.

The diet consists of the water routine, the jeans, and the weigh-in – again, it is a dubious, minimalist kind of thing.  (I did also stop eating a daily cookie, cut my Tostitos consumption to 1/8 of the bag versus 1/2 the bag, and drank water instead of beer, or wine, you know the higher calorie beverage stuff, but all of that is OUR secret!!).  

The true test of any weight loss plan is your actual weight at weigh-in time.  It must be done at the optimal time though.  Only after you’ve done your bathroom routine (at our age, you don’t really need me to elaborate on that…do you??), you’ve exercised by running 30-40 minutes on the treadmill (to sweat out a pound or two), stripped naked (clothes add extra weight and have nothing to do with the real you weight), shower, dry off, hair must not be wet either (water retention in any form skews your weight), go to the bathroom one more time, and THEN step on your scale to see what your actual weight is.

The PROPER, real you, and nothing but the truth – weight.  You can bank money on it. (Until you eat…or drink…or get dressed.)

The scale at the physician office must be calibrated with your actual weigh-in (from home).  This step is a must – so you’ll stay smiling, content in your knowledge of your actual weight and so your heart rate stays steady after you get off the scale.  Docs tend to worry if it is too high!

You’ll find comfort in the little secret and it will make your annual physical goal meeting go smooth – you will always know your true weight, no matter what they write on your chart!

Time to get on with the day…I’ve got stuff to take care of before I head to the Doc’s office!

Daily Post Prompt:  Cozy

Cee’s Black and White Photography Challenge:  Water