The chills ran down my spine as I glanced down at my stomach while doing my 45-second plank. Yeah, not quite to a 1-minute one yet. It kills my wrists after about 30 seconds, so it’s taking me a long time to build up to a 4-minute plank.
If I ever will? Do I really want to be able to do that? For what reason, I dunno, ‘cuz that’s what you’re supposed to do to tone your core, right??
Not really, but where was I?
Oh yeah…that view of what I saw, aka, a foreigner on my stomach.
When I saw it, all I could think is WTH is that? I don’t see it when I’m standing? Or sucking it in?
Sh*t?
I blinked, maybe it is just my trifocals messing with me?
Nope, I looked again, there it was, it’s real, dammit. Apparently, there’s a group of people embracing it, too? Not mine, but their own over at loose-skin-roundup!
I quickly glanced away and shook my head to get the blood flow back to it. Maybe I was just light-headed, yeah, that’s gotta be it?
Then I looked off into the distance, through the icicles feeling all cold about my whole idea to change my body in 30 days thing I got going on.
I felt weird like I did that day when I saw her in 2009 on the beach.
Sh*t, am I’m her?
WTH? Yes, I’m that lady on the beach. The one that I said, “I wouldn’t ever be caught dead looking like.”
I said this to myself, not out loud, that would be so rude of me. But I’d be lying if I didn’t share that back then I was a bratty judgmental bitch sometimes on the beach. A cocktail in hand, being all smart, wishing I looked like the cuties walking on the beach who looked hot in their suits. I grew up with idols like Madonna and Phoebe Cates and Courtney Cox, who is my age and can still wear a bikini, by the way. I had images stuck in my head about what things can be seen on a beach.
The lady I saw was likely my current age. She wore a tiny bikini, barely covering her well-weathered-tan, and when she bent over to sit down on her lounge chair to reposition herself to get more sun (like she needed it?), her skin on her belly gathered into sagging rolls – not just a few, but a lot of them. Rippling down her front like an icicle…
I thought to my I grew up in the 80s self, “Yikes, girl, I would totally just cover that up?”
Ever since then, that image stuck. Not because I wanted to remember her, but because I knew someday, I’d no doubt eat those words and that would be me. My skin wouldn’t always be young, plump and firm.
Over the years, I’ve been pretty much the same weight since marriage. Give or take 5 pounds on any given month. Except when I was pregnant, then it was 38 #s – 42 #s, respectfully. I adored being able to eat freely for two.
Then a strange thing happened after the magical pounds disappeared during this past Dry January. I haven’t gained those 7-9 pounds back, and my skin is missing something under it, leaving space and waiting for the trusty pounds of time to return.
Apparently? Or so I’ve recently noticed.
I’ve been trying on summer clothes, bikinis, and stuff like that. And, lo and behold, out from under the covers of the frigid holy crap it’s freezing outside clothes I’ve been wearing, I discovered that I have this new-found sagging skin location on my stomach. That holy sh*t, I didn’t expect to see when I looked down to check my form while doing the plank.
It’s a thing, sagging stomach skin, that is, I remember seeing it after pregnancy. But I was much younger, and the skin bounced back without stretch marks. That was decades ago.
Sh*t.
Stop swearing, jeez…
I calmed myself, feeling right in line with the words of the Cold As Ice song earworm playing in my head.
I stretched into a different pose and the sagging went away. Whew…that was scary.
I stretched some more and pondered more. Watching the ice melt.
Am I’m as cold as ice, and willing to sacrifice my love for my aging body that has earned every damn wrinkle it has?
It takes time to form each and every ridge, wrinkle, age spot, mole, dimple, skin tag, and all that good kind of stuff.
Which all are, by the way, completely NORMAL as we age!
If you don’t have those lovely additions to your body at 54, you’ve had or paid for help to remove them. Or you cleverly cover them up. Or use tons of chemicals, lotions, potions, etc. Not just a Vitamin D supplement, like me.
At least that’s what my bestie Courtney, says. She took the route to nip and tuck and fill and didn’t feel real. Nowadays she feels like herself and is damn proud of her real, authentic (I’d applaud her even more if she stopped dying her hair, but that’s just me) self.
I see that she has opted for the one-piece suit, though. Hmm…
Just because I don’t look like I think I should, or at least as young as I wish I did, or as young as I feel – most of the time…you know, like a 40-something, it does not mean that I can’t be confident and happy in my skin as it changes. Sagging skin and all that goes with it.
The wrinkles by my eyes, my arms, my neck, my hands, my stomach, my butt, and my knees – oh, man, don’t even get me started on the knees…are all ME.
Nobody else is just like ME, or Courtney, or YOU.
Post Inspiration – Challenge – Fall In Love With Your Over 50-Self February #FILWYO50SF
PS – Have you ever taken a double take look in the mirror, or catch a photo of yourself and think, “Is that really me?” Who are your favorite idols from the year you were born or graduated from high school? Have you ever looked them up to see what they look like now, just to make yourself feel better or worse?
You look fabulous Shelley. 😎
Aw, thank you, John!
You had me at 45 second plank! You go girl! W = wrinkle, but W = Wisdom as well.
Skin goes to hell at some point and not much we can do about it (well, unless we are movie stars with unlimited budgets which we aren’t….but then sometimes they look all weird and twisted afterwards). Interesting side note: do men worry about this issue? Mmmm….not so much I would guess. Perhaps they could advise as to adjusting to this fact of life.
And, yes, looking in the mirror often triggers a double take.
LOL – I love how wise you are, you always make me feel better about being real with myself, thank you so much!
You inspire all of us who don’t even know what a plank is – its a board right? I would hate to think what my ankles would go through with me trying to do that. You and Laura are amazing. I will just wave at y’all as you go by while I sit in the lounge chair sippin’ on m’ southern Mint Julip. Yea, and spell check don’t know what that is either. Go get ’em girl.
LOL – supposedly if you get the plank right, your body should look like a board. I don’t have any mirrors (thank goodness) to see, so I just assume I’m doing it right until my daughters see me and tell me I’ve been doing it wrong all along. Ah, I’ve yet to taste a Mint Julip – I wonder if they make them in Jamaica too? Your encouragement and kindness warm my heart!
Gravity takes it toll as well – from top to toe. Aging is not for the feint of heart.
And thank goodness for great walking shoes, ‘cuz they are my favorite part of any outfit!
That’s for sure – thank goodness I wore hiking boots yesterday, at least I could navigate better in the snow squall. I was at the Park one Christmas Day and in shoes, and an unexpected snow squall came up. I was caked in snow from head to toe by the time I got home.
Hiking boots are my go-to shoes this winter. My toes stay warm and I feel safer. Glad you’re wearing yours when you venture out!
I’m breaking them in better – last year they were rubbing against my ankles and I had to slip a piece of bubble wrap around my ankles. I am not used to wearing boots over the ankle bone as taller boots are softer. they are New Balance and recommended by the small shoe store where I buy my walking shoes. A fellow blogger who lives in Alaska says she used to run in ice/snow and wore “Ice Bugs” … I looked at them at their site. Look like they would be good and safe shoes, a little pricey though, but for you with your long and snow-heavy/icy Winters: https://icebug.com/
I have Columbia’s both winter boots and hiking boots – and yes, it takes some getting used to with the ankles. Thanks for the link to the icebugs, I’ll have to check them out!!
I can’t figure out if it has something to do with lacing the two hooks at the top – I tried leaving them unlaced there but then not enough support if you’re slogging through snow and potentially ice. I wish I’d known about the icebugs before the New Balance purchase – the woman highly recommended them. I’ve had my Sorel boots for years, but had to buy a half-size bigger and don’t feel secure in them like my Khombu everyday pull-on boots – they are getting cracked but they’re comfortable and great lug soles.
I hope you figure it out! I haven’t worn mine enough to know what works or doesn’t. Staying inside on my treadmill has been the path of least resistence (snow wise)! 😉
Given your weather, I can’t blame you! I looked around downstairs after we discussed treadmills. I would not know where to start to get rid of stuff downstairs. It is not just clutter, but it is furniture … when my parents got new living room furniture, the rug, coffee and end tables, sofa and small chair, TV/table all went downstairs … my old wooden desk/chair is there and the biggest item is the computer hutch and all its paraphernalia … that is in the outer room … plus two large clothing racks, two closed cabinets … I used to buy a lot of clothes, plus there is a built-in cedar closet down there – I have to rethink or reorganize bigtime first.
I understand, it took me a long time to find room for ours, and it still has to share the space with my ‘craft room’ supplies. If this winter holds out much longer, you may just take out your frustrations on the clutter and clear a space. Clutter clearing is incredibly rewarding – when one is ready to do so!
The sad thing is that I cleared alot of clutter after I had the whole house insulation job done – they made such a mess, in the basement and garage – they didn’t come upstairs. And around the house with foam and the paper mache stuff everywhere, but they made a colossal mess downstairs. There is a corner of the basement that I’ve not gotten to, that I piled stuff to go through there … I was sick of it by the time the Summer was over. And then I had two plumbing disasters and the guy came to clean the dryer lint trap and left the condensate drain out of the laundry tub and the water from the A/C ran everywhere. It was a horrid year for household issues.
I’ve had corners like that in my life over the years. When I finally clear them out, there’s a wonderful sense of new beginning and refreshing freedom. But I totally get the overwhelming feelings of where the heck do I even start? One item, one box, one tiny thought at a time. The Minimalists have a 30 day game that sometimes works. Every day for 30 days you discard something. On day 1, it’s one item, on day 2 it’s 2 items, on and on until day 30 when you give away 30 items. That’s worked for some people. I did it backwards once. I hope spring arrives soon so you can walk outside!
I’ve also heard of the two plastic garbage bags of week of clutter will help declutter your life in no time. I decluttered (or so I thought), ’til I was blue in the face. I look around and think to myself “my parents and our bird lived here too? – No way!” Our storm was not as bad as predicted due to something with the wind pressure – that was okay. But we still got freezing rain and black ice, just a smaller scale. Hurry Spring please! This weekend has now turned into into rain events, thunderstorms and heavy and gusty winds both weekend days … I give up.
Know you can relate to my self-proclaimed title of a Dubious Minimalist. Clutter removal isn’t a one time deal. Our storm brought us 5 inches of new snow with winds. And we’re up for that same storm system you described for Sat and Sun – if we get rain ontop of 22″ of snow on the ground, holy mess that’s going to be. Maybe if we both give up our fight, February will leave early?
Yes, I can relate Shelley and sometimes I just look around and it overwhelms me. The weather is tedious and worrisome this Winter. I just looked at the forecast for the weekend … it is all about rain and wind, very high winds, but the headlines take me beyond my comfort zone … “Metro Detroit weather: Powerful weekend storm looms after warm Friday.”
Remember it is meteorologists’ dream to be all giddy and busy and right as they predict the weather. The more drama the more excitement for all, right? Meh…bleh…meh…I say. We WILL make it to spring, despite them and the storms!
You’re getting more snow, but Flagstaff, AZ got 36 inches of snow yesterday! We are part of this “bomb” event this weekend … SMH.
Yes, it’s a widespread storm! I was teasing John over at https://lvphotoblog.com/ about the snow he got. He used to live in Michigan and despises the snow!
This Michigander despises the snow too and what a welcome sight … sun and palm trees that John has in his photos on that site. Makes you ready to relocate to Las Vegas. I wasn’t aware how much snow they got in L.V. so I Googled. What a wicked Winter this has been all over.
Yes, he does. I have a couple friends visiting LV this week, and they said it’s crazy to see snow there! It is a wicked winter for sure!
I really like your kit and came here for the 10 mistakes you made in 2018…
Body satisfaction is so individual – isn’t it? And my comment about that is I am glad I am not a celebrity where I am in front of a camera. I can have a few flaws and it is okay – or to me it is- just glad to be healthy
Thank you, I appreciate you taking time to read my posts. Yes, body satisfaction is very individual. Excellent point, that would be horrible to be in front of the camera all the time! Yes, flaws are what makes us unique, thank you for sharing that perspective!
😊