It is the day after I gave up my unicorn status. I’m so freaking happy, my mind is racing…
Should I tell anyone?
Should I tell the blogosphere world about it?
Who the hell cares?
No, don’t do it…you’ll lose followers. They’re going to think you’re gross.
Don’t do it!
Well, I wanna…’cuz my brain is going all zoomie on me. It has been working on overload as I reconciled my arguments for and against having my horn removed.
I’ve affectionately remorsefully called it a unicorn horn for at least 6 or 7 years until it grew to an intolerable height. I tried multiple times (every fricken day) to accept it as ‘normal’ and to love the little bastard horn.
I hated it more than I adored it.
Most unicorns horns are cute. At least the homemade ones are. Or the ones that you can find on the internet.
Speaking of the internet – you can find lots of DIY ideas. Some videos can be damn convincing. Even to the point where you think “I can do that, I can do it all on my own and save $.”
I’m a sucker for being able to save money, especially when it comes to my own healthcare or beauty secrets.
A unicorn horn is not a beauty secret. Nope. Nada chance.
It’s damn ugly. You do want to hide it. To the person who sees it every morning, or the one who scraps it with the brush or comb. Which hurts like h*ll by the way. It is not a beauty to behold.
I was a closet unicorn.
I didn’t let anyone see it – except my kids and Mr. Oh, and my hairdresser who I haven’t seen since my last cut in 2017. One of the reasons I stopped coloring my hair was because of the early stages of the horn. Every 5 weeks I’d go in for hair maintenance and the comb that separated the hair to put the goo on would scratch against my horn and irritate it so it kept growing.
I thought stopping the visits to color would stop the growth. Nope. Unicorn horns just keep slowly growing.
I tried every trick in the DIY book to get it to disappear.
- Essential Oils (Oregano and Frankincense)
- Castor Oil
- Apple Cider Vinegar
- Baking Soda Paste
- Alcohol the rubbing kind (not just commiserating drinks, mind you)
- Witch hazel
- Neosporin
- Just leaving it alone…
Nothing worked, it was determined to grow. And became painful and not so easy to keep concealed. I went in to see how much it would cost the end of 2017.
- $237.50 to talk to the doctor to see if it was removable
- $1158.00 Excision for benign Pilar sebaceous cyst
- $464.60 pathology – to send it in to verify it is normal, which is the case in 99.99% of the time
That was the same week I received our property tax bill. We needed to have a home, so I paid the property tax bill and canceled the parting of ways with my horn appointment.
That day I started saving for it.
In the meanwhile, I continued to research other ways to remove it naturally. The thing is, that’s impossible (my experience) to do so from the exterior of my head. It would seem to shrink, but it wasn’t.
Each attempt was just an illusion.
In actuality, it kept growing underneath the skin and was attached to my scalp. There was no way it was leaving my head through my attempts alone. At least I followed the advice and never tried to poke or squeeze or excise it myself. Although I wanted to out of desperation. Many days.Every.damn.day for 6-7 years.
The night before I couldn’t sleep. I fought with my racing thoughts – ‘it’s vanity’, ‘it’s only on your head, you can cover it up with hair’, ‘it’s so much money…!’ – I tossed and turned, hardly slept a wink.
Yesterday, was surgery day. In preparation, I watched a YouTube video to make sure I understood what was going to happen. (If you want to get grossed out, search removal of a Pilar sebaceous cyst on YouTube).
I was exhausted and had no fight left in me to talk myself out of going. So I got ready to go and asked Mr. to take a picture of it for posterity sake. To frame later.
“Honey, will you help me document my unicorn horn?”
“Sure… Oh…WOW – that has gotten big…!”
Sigh…
“Thank you for confirmation that it is time to have it removed. Here’s the camera, I have it on auto so you don’t have to play with settings.”
Click…click…click…(the only one that turned out…!)
“Thanks, hon. Do you want to come with me and watch?”
“Um…no, I’m good.”
So, I went alone. And I grew, more and more excited as I drove there. I waited in the waiting room. And then…it was time. My name was called.
The surgeon entered the room.
I verified if I understood the procedure correctly (didn’t tell the doctor that I learned it on YouTube!). He said, “Yes, that’s correct.”
And…”Now, I’m going to shave some of the hair around it to prepare.”
“Okay, but not too much, please…”
Buzz…buzz…buzz…buzz…
My heart racing.
“Okay, lay back and we’ll finish prepping the area and begin the procedure.”
“Okay.”
My heart still racing…
“Now you’re going to feel some pricks as I numb the area.”
Then he started in on the procedure. And asked, if I felt anything.
“Um…yeah.”
“Just like pushing and pulling or a sharpness?”
“Um…no, a really sharp pain.”
“Oh…let’s do more numbing meds then.”
Finally, it was completely numb, and he did the dirty deed.
The Nurse stood by to distract by talking to me while the procedure happened. The whole procedure, that I waited 7 years for, from prep to completion took about 15 minutes.
When he finished, he said the nurse would take over, and looked at me and said, “No more bump, just a concave area where the cyst used to be, but that will heal over nicely in about 3 weeks. The hair will come back. You’ll feel some pain, take ibuprofen to help, and ice it to keep the swelling and bruising down. Come back in a week for the nurse to remove the sutures. Any questions?”
“Um…no. Thank you.”
The Nurse cleaned me up. I had felt streams of liquid during the procedure. Yeah, scalps bleed.
“These are common – this is the 3rd one in a week that we’ve taken off in the same area on the head.”
Relieved that I wasn’t abnormal. Slightly sad that I wasn’t the only unicorn in the county.
She handed me an ice pack and said to come back in a week to have the sutures removed.
3 little sutures instead of a unicorn horn. A surreal moment. I smiled all the way home.
My head was extremely numb afterward, and that lasted a good 6 1/2 hours. I was so damn happy to not see or feel the bump on my head.
Then the numbing meds wore off.
Oy…thank goodness for Motrin.
Before the procedure, I was so preoccupied and worried about him not shaving too much hair off, I had forgotten how much hair I have and how long and how heavy it is to my scalp. If I smile or open my eyes too much, my whole head moves and I feel pain. I know this will subside.
I tried to get Mr. to take an after picture, but he said, “Nope…I’m good, let’s just not mess with it until it’s healed some more…it’s kinda oozing…ewe…maybe in a day or so, we can try that.”
And…that’s the rambling story of how I ditched being a unicorn. I hope you still like me…
Post Inspiration – Linda G Hills #JusJoJan – Zoomie. Prompt thanks to Bee who has so much fun over at her blog called The Bee Writes!
PS – Hope I didn’t gross you out too much! Have you ever had an embarrassing skin issue that bothered you for years and finally took care of it? Do you believe in unicorns (the cute kind)?
I knew you were extra special!!! Still are, even without your horn. I do think God grants us unruly-scalped girls with thick hair, so I’m sure you’re fine there. Good luck with the healing–ice and rest! And I’m sure your Mr. will be making you some nice dinners!
Aw, thanks, Rebecca! I appreciate your support. Yes, my crazy head of hair will cover the scare nicely, just like it did for the horn ;-)! I’m following doctors’ orders and resting, and yes, Mr. is making dinner too!
Hey…kudos for resolving your problem! I’m like that…I keep thinking I can find some way to medically treat myself and when it doesn’t work, I take a while to make myself get it fixed by a professional. 🙂 I think after this heals up, you definitely deserve a beer and some Tostitos. 🙂
Thanks, Laurel! LOL – I appreciate hearing I’m not the only one who self-heals for too long! Yes – only one week until the end of January! 😉
It’s a good thing to have it removed. I had no idea what you were actually talking about Shelley!
LOL – thanks for your support, John! 😉 Consider it a gift that you didn’t know what I was talking about!
OMG Shelley! I have the same problem. They’re both a blessing & a curse. Blessing because when I found the tumor on my head, it wasn’t like the cysts. They move with the scalp, & the tumor didn’t. Red flag! As a former hairdresser, I knew the cysts weren’t a big concern. Fast forward to being bald from chemo and unable to hide cysts from Hubs & son. I could wear a beanie & did most of the time. Now I have hair again but cysts are growing and I haven’t had a haircut in 3 years. REALLY want to get rid of these things. Who did your procedure? Your primary doctor or a dermatologist or a surgeon?
Oh, and a high five for being brave enough to tell us about it AND supply a photo! Dang, girl!
Aw, I’m sorry to hear about the tumor. Yes, I was worried about that at first, but two doctors said it was the benign cyst and very common. My doctor said that if you’re prone to them, you’ll get more. Sigh. I feel for you – they are such a pain and so irritating. The procedure was done by a general surgeon. He originally wanted me to have it done in the operating room. Since I was paying, I said, no way that’s just overkill. He agreed to do it in the office as an office visit. Apparently, other people felt the same way since I was the third person in a week! Thanks for appreciating the post, and the picture. 😉
Thanks Shelley. The tumor is gone and so far so good! The operating room? Wow. That would’ve jacked the price up by thousands!! Thanks for the info!
That’s great news, I’m glad the tumor is gone and so far so good. I know – you should’ve seen his face when I told him no, that it was overkill and I was told he could do it in the office and that the price was high enough as it was! Yeah, I was feisty!
Growths like that are actually pretty common, I think. I remember Dad had a skin tag on his head that was growing slowly. One day (I was about 9) I asked him what it was. He said it was a new head and that once it reached full-size his old one would fall off. I had a great-aunt who described, in gory detail, having a carbuncle removed. And one of my brothers developed a fungal infection on his head after he was acting goofy and put a plunger on his head. Yours is actually pretty mild. Bet you feel better, don’t you?
Yes, these are common, according to my doctor and the surgeon anyhow. It’s amazing what our largest organ on the body produces! Thanks for sharing your stories! Yes, I feel better (still have pain today). 🙂
So glad the unicorn has been safely removed. I assume the test results are good as well. It a crazy thing our bodies can do by creating weird things. Feel better soon.
Thanks, Anita. I haven’t heard the results, but the surgeons initial comments were “it looked like the normal 99.99% cyst”. I’m feeling better each hour.
Well done you, so glad that thing has gone. I am prone to cysts and have had several removed, but none on my head, that is where I cultivate warts! Had an embarrassing gap in my teeth finally fixed, couldn’t have been happier with the results (still am). No matter how everyone used to tell me the gap was cute and I wouldn’t be the same me without it. Guess what, I don’t care, I wanted that thing fixed. I so understand you holding off for several years too. It’s a difficult decision. Happy days.
Thanks for sharing, Barbara. Bodies sure make weird skin things as we age. Grr! I got braces when I was 40, right along side my teens who were getting them too. I spent 40 years never smiling, and now I smile as much as possible. It is a difficult decision to change something about ourselves for others, it’s entirely different if we do it for our own well-being. I appreciate your words of encouragement!
Good for you being brave Shelley and thanks for the info – I did Google the surgery at YouTube.
Whoops – my message might have gone to SPAM – I told you that you were brave and I Googled the procedure on YouTube and learned something – I wouldn’t deem it SPAMMY. Hope it is a fast recovery – you owe yourself a treat of some kind if you had minor surgery and can’t have beer and Tostitos. Think about it.
LOL – dang WordPress. Thanks for checking out the surgery. Not as fun as the photography how-tos though! Yes, I’m celebrating with a new bottle of motrin – since we rarely take any medications, the bottle I had expired in 2017. Mr. went to our little local grocery store, bought a new bottle, and I checked it expires 1/19. Amazing what 2 years can do to the efficacy of motrin!
Better hurry up and be pain-free before the end of January Shelley. I did the same thing with my shoulder/arm. Decided to take some Aleve I had bought awhile ago – expired. I don’t like taking OTC meds or any meds to begin with, let alone expired ones.
LOL – I’m working on it. I’m not a fan of OTC’s either, thus the expiration dates go unnoticed. I wouldn’t have even checked except my daughter asked me why it didn’t seem to be cutting the pain – “did you check the expiration date mom?” Oy! Kids, I love how smart they are nowadays!
Well, she got to say “I told you so Mom” … and could you get the lid off easily? They make the childproof caps even harder to get off than years ago.
LOL – yes, on both counts! Funny you said that, this bottle was extra hard to get open!
I bought some Aspercreme roll-on with Lidocaine 4% … the prescription strength that my friend Ann Marie uses for her arthritis is 5% … I figured it would be close enough for helping my shoulder/arm Got a couple of bottles, then checked Amazon reviews to see if it got a thumbs up or down. People were pleased with this OTC med, but the biggest issue was getting the cap off, and you would have to leave it on or the roll-on part would dry u quicker. If you have arthritis in your hands, it would be difficult – you have to line up the tabs and push just right. Some people told of using a nutcracker to twist the cap off.
WOW – that’s crazy. So…did it help? I keep thinking about you and your pain, I hope you’re finding some relief!
I’ve amped up the exercises that I found on Dr. Jo, a physical therapist on YouTube. I think on February 1st, I’m going to try the lowest range of the resistance bands. My boss had told me to try them – he uses them several times a day at the advise of his physical therapist after his shoulder injury. During the day it is not bad, except for getting dressed and undressed but that is momentary and I deal with it. At night, it is a little worse when I shift around – sleeping is the worse by far. We had two inches of now last night and are having between 4-6 inches tomorrow. I hired a snow service – supposed to arrive after two inches – don’t want a fine, so pushed the snow on the City property, porch and my sidewalk with my right arm – no problem. Wouldn’t want to do the entire property that way, but it worked. He should come today, but likely waiting til tomorrow … no words. He went 7 weeks without a flake of snow and paid in advance, so thinking he would have been more diligent.
Congratulations!!! It must feel so freeing to have the doctor take care of your unicorn horn. Sometimes the DIY remedies are not enough for those stubborn skin things. How do you feel??? I hope happy and relieved.
I have a sun spot that drives me nuts and yes I understand how it would’ve kept you up at night. Same here…lemon juice is not doing the trick.
Thank you! Yes, other than the pain, I’m super excited to be rid of it. And I’m feeling happy that I can eventually part my hair on that side again. Vanity, I tell ya, but I’ve missed being able to do so. I have a mole that I’ve tried every home remedy with too, and it has made it worse. That’s the next appointment in a few months. Sigh…the way the skin comes up with creations never ceases to confuse me!
Nothing wrong with vanity!! Happy for you that you can style your hair differently and to not think about it anymore.
Please let me know how the appointment goes with the sun spot. I’ve tried lemon juice, milk, and Murad spot corrector. It barely makes a difference and the California sun is brutal. Oh well…must learn to embrace it as part of me. But that vain part of me…
Have a great weekend!!
Thank you! I will, it may just be the dermatologist for me……. Wonder how much that will cost?! I’ve heard that Franincense essential oils does lighten up sun spots – that did work some for me. If you find something, let me know! Hope you have a great weekend too!
Dermatologist may be the best option for lasting results. But I heard that sun spots do come back, so make sure to wear sunscreen everyday.
I’ll look into the essential oil you mentioned. Home re
Hmmm, wonder if my reply posted. When I use my phone, I accidentally hit send when I mean to backspace to correct something. In this case, it just got deleted.
My original message was that going to the dermatologist may be the best option for quick and lasting results. Hope you find a good doctor and a good price for the treatment!!
Thank you for clarifying – yes, I intend to do so!
You brought back lovely memories of when I was a teenager, blowdrying my Nana’s hair and doing all in my power to cover her ‘unicorn horn’ which she took with her when she left us and knowing her sense of fun is probably using to her best advantage in her heaven!
Aw, that’s sweet. I’m sure your kindness helped encourage her to keep shining with that horn in heaven!
Thanks Shelley! I hope you are feeling better. Xx
Thanks, Marie – yes, feeling less pain today!!