Sweet memories of dementia

When Valentine’s Day rolls around I always think of Mom.  As I walked past the shelf I saw the last bear I bought for her.  I gave it to her on Valentine’s day six years ago.

Seeing the bear took me right back to that time in her life.  And ours.  It was a challenging time but also filled with precious memories.  Memories I still have and ones she probably didn’t remember due to her dementia.  That Valentine’s Day six years ago was different for all of us in so many ways.

I was suspicious of the efficacy of the medications my mom took.  I know her compliance wasn’t the best, but once she was consistently taking her medications while living in a memory care facility, I hoped her health would level out, and she would get better.

We, as humans, hope our loved ones get better when they have illnesses or failing health.  Some diseases aren’t curable no matter how many medications one takes.  Some medications simply slow the pace to the end.

My mom had vascular dementia as a result of strokes.  She had Multi-infarct Dementia to be exact.  She also had diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and depression.  She took medications multiple times per day.  When her memory was affected by the stroke keeping track of her medications was hard for her.  Once she had care staff helping her with medications I thought she would’ve gotten better.

Sure, her blood sugars leveled off some, and her blood pressure was within ‘normal’ range, blood work was ‘normal’, but yet, she wasn’t getting better.  She couldn’t return to living on her own, and her health continued to fail, despite the regulated doses of medications.

My suspicions that the medications weren’t enhancing her mental health came to be real in my mom’s last few months of life.  When we made the decision to enroll her in Hospice we also chose to remove medications from her care plan in a safe and gradual way.  She was medication free 60 days before her death.  And you know what, that was the happiest she had been in a long time.

She was relaxed, she was happy, and she wasn’t depressed.  I have fond memories of that stage of her dementia even though I know how the story ended.

Mom loved Valentine’s Day almost as much as Halloween.  What can I say – she was a bit eccentric.  We visited her in February when she was at her best stage of dementia.  She was a hoot.  The mom I remembered growing up with was there, full of life, happiness, goofiness, smiling once again, and free of medications.  She never understood selfies but still enjoyed smiling for pictures.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Mom loved bears and always smiled when introduced to a new one.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

As we ate dinner last night, on the plates I inherited from her, I toasted my glass of wine to mom.  She would’ve loved eating Valentine’s dinner that my sweetie cooked.  She would’ve toasted his expertise with the wine and then asked for a bit of chocolate for dessert to satisfy her sweet tooth.

Ah, yes, I have such sweet memories of mom.  Cheers!

#GFTH-GFTB