So many empty nest realizations of life this week, they just kept piling up like the snow did. One right after the other. Piled up thigh high.
#1 – We had the tax preparer call us to say, “Take the standard deductions now, no children with the school expenses to deduct. You’re not even close to itemizing.”
Ouch…okay…suck it up, we have to pay. Good thing I saved for such surprise-like things. It’s way cheaper than having a baby, right?
Then she said, “Oh, and, by the way, you owe for both Federal and State and you’ll have estimates for next year, too.”
Sigh…okay, suck it up again.
Did I miss that chapter in “What to Expect in Your Empty Nest” book that I haven’t read? My how time flies…
#2 – And it snowed. A lot. Mr. plowed snow. A lot. And I watched from the window as I as I did more a** toning squats.
The poor little pup has such a small spot to work his squats in while I watch and do my squats, too.
#3 – The wind blew, too. A lot. It moved the snow. A lot.
The poor rabbits have resorted to nature’s next best thing to grass, eating our trees.
And with those winds, it blew in lots of moments for me to sit and ponder about the birds and the bees, and all that green with envy stuff that I haven’t seen in quite a while.
Suck it up honey, this is the empty nest reality now.
The kids are all grown up, taxes are inevitable, and my, how our life has changed, and so have I.
And my 54-year-old self all obsessed with what to wear on the beach needs to get real. What should I return to pay taxes instead? The majority of it, no doubt. Especially the small pile of beachwear that’s been collecting around the room with each shipment.
Sigh…
Fresh snow jobs as we’re heading out of winter and into spring isn’t typically a bad thing.
I liken it to an appropriately covered swimsuit one (aka, me) needs to feel comfortable on the beach. Covering up your backside is a good thing.
After a complete and udder melt-down yesterday. Resulting in a realistic look at myself in several mirrors, from several angles, with and without my glasses on.
Without glasses, by the way, added a nice blur effect – it was my favorite view.
A few of those moments on the verge of tears while I tossed aside my fears.
Suck it up, buttercup – this is it. Get real. Even if it was a deal, you don’t need it. Send it back. Return the rest, except what you’re really going to use.
Lo, and behold, I’ve accepted that I’ve changed in 4 years’ time. I don’t look like I did when I was a babe, or 10, 20, 30, 40, 45, 50… PERIOD.
Besides that, in order to look like I did 4 years ago, it would require an extra-super-duper-restraint mode on my part. Accompanied by a sustained sucking in and tensing of all sorts of muscles for way longer than physically desirable at my age. I can’t just suck it up and pay and walk away while holding my breath the whole time I’m on the beach. I have to walk comfortably with my skin as it is.
Go ahead, give it a try. Re-read from the beginning. As you start to read the first word, take in a deep breath, hold it, tense every stomach muscle, your butt cheeks, and then hold ’em all, don’t fold ’em, and then while you’re doing that read your way back to this point.
Then boom, go ahead, relax, let it all out.
Could you do it? I couldn’t, but if you could, I have a deal on a bikini for sale!?
What feels better, sucking it in or letting it all comfortably be? Well? I’m right, aren’t I?
As you relaxed, did you feel tissues collect back to their ol’ familiar spots as they were released? Did the uncomfortableness of sucked in folds tucked into where the hell did that space come from, feel weird, too?
No? Okay, maybe that’s just me?
The new folds I found yesterday when I sat down instead of standing in a pose in front of the mirror shocked me. I discovered my planning up to this point hadn’t considered that part of the trip.
I’ll have to sit down once and awhile…duh…
So, I tried on the tankini and the one-piece suits I bought back in the summer. Their right amount of cover-up feels just right, and I feel relaxed and comfortable, too? And I don’t have to suck in anything, I can breathe. And I can save money, while I’m at it!
I knew this past summer, exactly what was right for me, plus they were a deal when they were on sale.
Who the hell wants to be at the beach all tense and uncomfortable anyhow? Yikes, not me. Nature has given me well-earned badges of honor that I adore covering up.
And I have no plans to be in a bikini swimsuit competition for chrissake. I can’t even do down dog right. Jeez.
I’m going to relax and have fun in the sun. If I’m too busy worried if I should breathe or not, that can’t be fun?!
So yeah…I decided the itsy bitsy teenie weenie bikini was a fun divergence in my fantasy world. I have a splashing image burned into my brain.
But, I needed to prove my point even further.
I went in for the confirmation of my decision to return it, as every good manipulative hen-pecking wife does.
My question to Mr. was well-formed. I spit out while I modeled the teenie thing for one last glorious moment of time. I affectionately called my strut, “Yay look at me, I’m 54, I can still put on a bikini!”
I looked at Mr. as I spun around and then did the worst thing ever…I put him on the spot and said, “Do you see what I’m talking about, this is not okay, is it?”
Ouch…
He looked back at me as I turned around again, going as fast as possible to cause the blur effect. Trying to prove my point that I didn’t look right in the bikini. He paused extra long before saying anything, waiting to look up into my eyes, not down. He reached deep down into his well-formed appropriate for this kind of conversation bank of replies and found a golden one, “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
I shot a look his way, as I turned around and stormed out of the room.
I said, “I know, I’m sorry, that was unfair of me…don’t worry, don’t say anything, I’m sending it back.”
He quickly recovered with a shout out my way, “I think you look good in all of the suits, honey, which one do you want to wear?”
A cover-up is always pretty, in a way. If you’re into snow jobs.
Post Inspiration – Sunday Stills Fresh and Lens Artists #33 Nature and Challenge – Fall In Love With Your Over 50-Self February #FILWYO50SF
PS – How about you, was it a sticker shock to get your taxes prepared this year? How many of you bet with Mr. that I’d eventually return the bikini? He’s ready to collect to help pay for taxes?
Doing/paying taxes or answering that question. I’ll be at the bar…
LOL – Cheers to you!
Not in a hurry to file, but planning to pay
Way to be a loyal citizen :-)!
Ack, that inner turmoil is so familiar. 🙂
I wish I could report it gets easier with age! 😉
Vacation is for relaxing. Don’t put undo stress on how you look in a tiny piece of cloth. Remember Mr loves whats inside and you cant see that. I think we women put too much on stress ourselves because society has demanded that we always look good. You have an inner beauty that Mr. sees, your cats see and those who blog with you see. And we know what God sees. He loves you the most. Its all good and the extra perks are just gravy.
Aw, Anita, your kindness never stops to warm my heart and thoughts just when I need it, thank you!!
I saw this right after I read your and thought of you. All Mr. wants is your lovely beauty by his side as you both look at the beauty of this world. The poem is lovely. http://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2019/02/17/thursday-photo-prompt-new-writephoto/
Aw, so very true. You’re right, and yes, that is a lovely poem. Thank you for sharing the link!
Taxes and death – inescapable facts of life. 😳☹️
Yes, the things we count on in life come in various forms, that’s for sure!
So much to weigh–what’s important, what makes us feel good, what we can afford. Wouldn’t you like to be a young girl spending someone else’s money on dumb stuff at the mall again?! I would!
Now that you mention it, those were fun times :-)!
Nobody hands out a guide book when the nest fills up with kids. And no guide book when the nest is empty. How nice would it be to have one for each instance. As well as for swimsuit dilemmas. I haven’t even started thinking about taxes yet. It’s too cold.
LOL – so true! You’re wise to wait on the taxes, early news didn’t help! 😉
I haven’t even gotten my stuff compiled yet – I am behind with that chore, just like the other tasks. Ugh! The snow is incredible, especially on the deck furniture.
You’re not alone, I haven’t heard of very many people excited about filing this year! Maybe once the weather warms up you’ll feel like doing that…or, maybe the Spring weather is being held up by all the people not wanting to file their taxes?! 😉
I usually fill info from electronic banking re: healthcare (Obamacare debits and I carry a supplemental hospitalization policy which is debited) and while I don’t have many donations, (mostly 5K walks for charities), I still do add them on the sheet – I’m going to blame it on blogging. Also, any banking statements I toss into a box to open up (all of them, the entire year) when I do taxes. This is because I check online daily … so that is a half day or more slitting open envelopes. I should go paperless and could just sit here and do it all at the computer. I’ll likely do it next Sunday – we’re having another storm Saturday night.
Sounds like a perfect way to accomplish the dreaded once a year task. More snow…ugh…enough already!
Aw. Poor Mr. As I was reading I was like “NO! Don’t ask him!” But he’s a very wise man with an honest answer in a lose/lose situation. Ha!
It pains me to see you stress out about the bikini. I know how hard it is. I’ve had to take a hatchet to those self-defeating thoughts myself every time they pop up. Something I learned a long time ago that has helped a LOT is that people are more worried about how they look than how you look. If you asked a 100 of them if they remembered what you were wearing, probably 90% of them would say “What woman?” Think about it… do you remember what someone was wearing yesterday? Unless it was your husband, who stayed home, in his skivvies all day, it’s hard to remember what someone was wearing. So factor in a stranger, in a swimsuit, on a beach, with a lot of other strangers in swimsuits on the beach… while you’re worried about yourself being in a swimsuit on the beach. It’s highly unlikely that you’ll cause mass hysteria and an exodus stampede from the beach as soon as someone sees you. 🙂 You’re a perfectly normal, beautiful woman that should bury her fears in the sand and enjoy her vacation with her perfect Mr.
LOL – yes, Mr. wasn’t excited about my question, but he did recover well. You’re so right, and I appreciate the pep talk. I can be sooooo silly sometimes when it comes to clothes, especially skimpy ones. I clicked the boxes for returns today, will have Mr. help me package it all and I feel TONS better. I’m so looking forward to the reason I’m going to the beach – to put my toes in the sand and surf and enjoy the view of the OCEAN, not the people in their suits. Thanks for helping me feel normal!!
I don’t think you’re silly at all! Glad to hear that you’re feeling better about it all. 🙂
Thanks! There’s no turning back…the returns are on their way, so YES, I’m better about it all today 😉 I appreciate your concern, it means a lot to me!
I love the pics you share! How different your garden looks from summer to winter! Hope you are doing ok with all that snow! Here in the UK life would have ground to a halt and we would all be huddled up indoors and complaining about not having anything to do xxx
Thank you, glad you enjoy the photos! Thank you for reminding me that not everywhere has snow like we do, and that I should be lucky we can navigate the storms around here, we just prefer to stay in when we have this much snow!