I started a post 15 days ago to give you an update. Then I clicked save and walked away from my computer. I was likely out of spare time. It’s hard to come by these days. Here we are at the yearly time change, and I figure, what the heck? I have this ‘extra’ hour to see where streaming thoughts take me today.
I’ve read all your comments on the previous posts and still haven’t found time to reply. Sorry! I missed writing to you for the whole month of October too. Wow, sorry about that too. I say sorry a lot these days!
Me to Mr.: “I’m sorry I moved your arm too fast…I know it hurts!”
It’s quite a blur to remember October, let alone yesterday. Well, yesterday is fresh in my mind. Mr. had a rough day due to a medication change and soreness from an AWESOME round of OT as he learned to roll himself side to side in the bed. Big win, with lots of residual pain.
And…we moved stuff preparing the house for Mr.’s return home (date undetermined).
Our kids and their friends split and stacked wood so we have wood for the fireplace this winter. Mr. missed being there to help them – he enjoyed seeing the Snaps from our kids showing the progress. I reminded him of how we did that together just the two of us last year. He remembered. His memory is intact. And I remembered how I moved logs to build muscles. I’m building more muscles again.
Movement and recognition of his left side remain in the recovery process. Thank goodness there has been small spontaneous and deliberate movement in both his arm and left leg. Learning to roll from side to side in the bed, sit up on the side of the bed, and transfer from the bed to the wheelchair and commode uses all the core muscles that help facilitate the recovery of the left side movement. ST/PT/OT therapy sessions help the progress by therapists visiting his room 5 days a week.
The challenge of the cardiologist finding medications that don’t cause problems and control Mr.’s blood pressure at the same time has been a huge battle. He’s ultra-sensitive to every change. The last round of changes has affected his appetite too. For those of you who remember, he was the Chef of our house, and rightfully so misses his cooking, “This place overcooks everything, everything is so dry, and it doesn’t taste good so I’m not eating the food.” 🙄
My cooking, I hope will be better.
But, first, the house won’t look the same to him when he returns. Neither of us will be the same when he returns, so why not have the house be different too? It’s an odd feeling to me. This whole experience is an out-of-body one for all of us. And now, the house we’ve built together and formed to fit us and our changing lives over the 30+ years is being changed again, this time, not with him, but for him. We’ll usher him in the house in the custom wheelchair he’ll have (ETA 11/21/2024).
Will he enjoy the ride into the house on the ramp, and transfer to the stairlift (we’re not sure when it will be installed!) down to the level of the house where his office is? And where he desperately wants to go, he talks about it so often.
Will he recognize the dining room when it doesn’t have this table and chairs and likely has a hospital bed instead? Ah…the holidays around the bar room he normally decorates with our Christmas village and the dining room table will be different this year. And that’s okay.
I don’t think I’ll even decorate for the holidays this year. All we want for Christmas is to have Mr. home. So, we are preparing for that special gift.
We found a great deal on a lift chair from a lovely lady who bought it for her husband who had a stroke. He spent time at the same nursing home where Mr. is, and she only lives a mile from the NH. Finding that chair serendipidly on Facebook Market Place the day she placed the ad, and getting it for Mr. was meant to be. Tizzie likes it, so Mr. will too.
Mr. told us he wanted the chair in the corner of this room so he could enjoy sitting next to the cozy fireplace. We hope it fits there – we’ve moved the two black chairs and the wine barrel to storage. Someday…they can return.
And someday (SOON 🤞🏻) Mr. will return home and we’ll continue with the recovery from the massive stroke he had. We remind ourselves that he’s gone from not being able to breathe on his own, let alone hold his head up or turn it from side to side, to turn to locate us on the left, to do all of what he couldn’t back then, and now include sitting up on his own after we assist him. Now he can think about tiny deliberate movements of his left side. It’s a recovery miracle in the works. We celebrate all those baby steps as we prepare for his return home.
And…yes, for those wondering about me, I’m okay, I get 6 hours of solid sleep a night to dream about his return home. Seeing all the small recovery miracles each day feeds my soul with hope and love.
PS – I hope you’re doing well. I miss you. Thank you for all your comments and well wishes. Your encouragement and support help us more than you know!
Thanks for the update Shelley
This all must be so hard on him (and all of you), but I can only imagine that the food bothers him in a unique way. I love the way you are preparing your house for him. It’s a lot of change to deal with, but the goal is the right one and you seem to be handling the task very well.
You all remain in our prayers, and I hope you have him home for the holidays. And don’t worry about missing blog posts and comments. We’ll be here when you can return. Until then, I hope everything works in your favor and Mr. continues to make progress. I look forward to that “He’s Home” post.
Honestly, Shelley, I think about you all every day. My sunflower garden shoes sit right outside our back patio, and I remember how you recommended them to me. I’m glad you read you are all taking it one day at a time, but making the necessary changes to help your hubby. I’m glad to read Mr is slowly recovering and that you are adjusting your home to accommodate the changes. Thank you for the update, my friend.
It’s so good to see your post this morning, Shelley, I’m so glad that your husband is improving! I remember the wonderful meals he cooked for you two so many times, and the hard work he did to replace that wooden wall next to the house. Better days are coming for him! Here’s a big virtual hug! I think about how you guys are doing too… ❤️😊🙏🏻
Thinking of you often, Shelley, and glad to hear of Mr’s progress. And I’m glad to hear you’re also taking care of yourself! Being a caregiver is no small task.
What a find that lift chair was! They are so pricy and so helpful. It’s heart warming to hear that Mr continues to improve, and I hope you get him home soon! ❤️
Good for you for getting a stair lift. We couldn’t get one to work (staircases are too narrow), but if you can, it’ll be a huge boon for him.
Listen, he’ll come around. As a sweet little African nun told me when I was down in the dumps because I had so far to go, focus on how far you’ve come. And therapists are miracle workers. Seriously.
Praying for you at this end.
OK first off. I was wondering where you were 🤔
Why didn’t I know about this earlier. I had to go back to the earlier posts.
I thought WP had unsubscribed me as I hadn’t seen any posts from you for months.
Now I am in shock and want to give you a hug, well more probably as I have missed send lots for months!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
What a transformation in your life. Loosing your live in tradie and cook leaves a big hole in your life and dependant on others.
He was a rock in your life now it’s up to you to be the family rock as well as your usual nurturer, mother and worker.
Stay strong and give Mr my wishes ❤️
Dear Shelley – you have made all the preparations in your mind, as has Mister and in a few weeks you will get to implement those plans. The strangeness of it all will wear off quickly and, while it won’t be like old times, you two will be together 24/7 once again and that will get you through this next transition. Thank goodness you are a strong woman (and not only for hoisting wood for the fireplace).
So much change forced on you out of the blue. It must be difficult, yet necessary. Your home updates seem sensible and I predict will soon seem normal, like they’ve always been there. We adapt but we also grieve as we do. What will you be cooking now? Same food as before or will there be a new diet plan?
Welp the system ate my first comment. I just wanted to let you know I’m pleased to read this update, but sorry it ever happened to begin with. Yet we adapt as need be. Your life will be different when he comes home, but your love will still be intact.
Sending you hugs and peace from Ohio. Just remember that being a care giver takes a toll on the body. Do what you can to look after yourself as well. After all, you cannot take care of him if you don’t take care of you.
Welcome to the caregivers club!
In this universe, behind the commun decor, our life continues governed by new instructions, calling on the new, inventiveness, without preconceived rules.
Don’t presume on your strengths and know how to ask for help TO ALWAYS BE ABLE TO WONDER ABOUT THE POWERS OF LIFE.
Sorry to hear about Mr’s Stroke. Deal with everything one day at a time. Rest when you can, eat regularly, and keep your strength up. It’s good he’s progressing with his physio. Life will just be a little different these days it’s just about adapting and accepting a different way of life. It appears to have made some progress , and may it continue.
I, too, have had recent health difficulties, broken ankle surgery (3 plate rods), and now on rehab. But nowhere near what Mr as gone through. But I can understand the frustration of not being able to do things yourself and reliant on others. Oh and moving flats move in the middle of all this! Thank god for family. Sending love Julie