As my daughter and I walked around the yard, gathering seeds for next year’s garden, I got lost in thought about the week we’ve had.
Her once tiny hands are now full-grown, trained and skillful in the art of helping mom gather marigold seeds.
“Mom, yes, I remember which ones to pick.”
My, I’m so proud of her, she’s grown up so much. I’m thankful she came to be with us while her daddy spent time in the hospital. It was scary for her to hear the news from a text while sitting at her home, hours away. Luckily for her, she’s found a mobile job, one she could temporarily transplant back here at home. I’m grateful she came, I needed her hugs, too. And, of course, her seed harvesting assistance.
“Mom – did you see the tiny spores on the tree trunk?”
“I love how you notice small objects, thank you for pointing them out.”
What is it about us as humans that we tend to pay attention to the big things, but miss or object to little things leading up to the big thing?
There were signs to pay attention to, lurking in the background of our life. But we ignored them. I’m getting better at noticing things, my photography has helped in a way. I tend to pause a lot more to investigate.
“How was your weekend? You don’t seem yourself?”
“I’m fine, it’s just a twinge here on my chest and my hands have been clammy all morning. I was outside in the cold before you got home. I’m just cold, I think I’ll be fine.”
“Okay…Do you wanna hear about my weekend? Wanna sit down and I’ll tell you over a beer, the football games are soon to start?
“Sure.”
“Hmm…you’re not drinking it, that seems so strange? Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I just don’t feel right, I don’t know what is wrong?”
“Are you sure you don’t want to go into the hospital?”
“Well, maybe…something’s not right.”
My mind raced. The post-traumatic memories of the day I found my mom flooded my thoughts. The flowers I’ve planted in our yard have grown, but she’s gone.
I didn’t recognize the tiny signs when she had her stroke. Like little trumpets sounding loud and clear to those who know the subtle signs but not to me, I had missed them.
And I didn’t take her to the hospital, we waited for another day. I’ve since forgiven myself for not following subtle concerns, instead, I followed her, “I think I’m okay, I’ll be fine.” But still, those memories haunt me…if only I had paid attention, maybe she’d still be here?
Not again, man, I’m not doing that again! I paid attention this time. We went to the ER. Thankfully, no heart attack and no stroke. Instead, we’ve found a plan and an opportunity to take a new path. We affectionately say it was, “Just a 3-day stay in the hospital wake-up call – we’re lucky, we paid attention, it may have been the big one.”
We’re lucky it has planted in us the seeds of opportunity to change our lifestyle. We’re gonna grow – and we’re gonna plant this tiny bouquet of seeds in our garden come spring and watch them bloom, too. We’ve been given a second chance, and that’s a big thing.
We’re gonna have more opportunities to hold each other’s hands and our daughters’ hands many more times. And, yes, we’re gonna follow all the little things to make the needed changes to bring that blood pressure back down.
Post inspiration: Lens Artists #16 – Big can be beautiful and RDP – Object
PS – What little signs in life have turned into big ones for you? Do you harvest your annual plant seeds for the next year’s garden too or do you buy new each year?
Excellent post Shelley, and so very important. I had a similar experience with my husband but thankfully we caught it just in time. Frightening but very grateful for the warning!
Thank you, Tina. I’m reassured by the thoughts you shared. Yes, frightening and grateful at the same time!
Very powerful piece. Thank you for sharing. Important messages here!
Thank you, Rebecca. 🙂
This is so well written. Very important to pay attention. Thank you.
Thank you, your feedback is touching!
You are welcome.
A very honest post, Shelley. I’m so glad you were given a second chance.
Thank you :-)!
Good for you for paying attention and going to the hospital. I’m glad it’s something fixable with some changes.
Thank you, Sue!!
Nice post, Shelley. Too often we just let things go “to see how I feel tomorrow.” Tomorrow might not come unless you do something today! Trying to convince my mom of that after her little emergency the other day. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Janet. Yes, we do that, I hope you’re able to convince your mom, I know how hard it is to do so ;-)!
So well written, Shelley, and I could relate. Easy to ignore those signs and brush them off as age or stress. We missed my husband’s first heart attack, and only found out just weeks before the second. This time, I was on guard – called the ambulance – he was in full blown arrest. Surgery and recovery and he is good now, but still we watch.
Thank you, I appreciate your feedback. Oh, my, that’s scary! I’m glad to hear you’ve been able to overcome that scare and that you still watch. Thank you for sharing your story with me, I wish you and your husband well.
You too, Shelley.
It is the subtle whispers of God that call us to pay attention. So very glad it was just a fixable call. Loved your picture of the lichen an moss. So delicate. Have a good week.
Yes, so true. Thank you for your kindness, I appreciate you, Anita!
I’m glad all is well, Shelley, with you and your husband. I wish nothing but good health and happiness for the both of you.
Thank you, Mary, I appreciate your words of encouragement!
So glad you didn’t wait! That situation is terrifying. Glad he’s ok.
We are too, thank you, your wishes mean a lot to me (us)!
This post was inspirational and your words very powerful. I can’t imagine how you must’ve felt with your mom’s health situation. I’m glad you forgave yourself; having grace and compassion for ourselves is harder than giving it to others.
Happy to hear your husband is out of the hospital!! Better to get checked out early and have peace of mind. So glad you sought out help early.
Thank you, I appreciate your feedback and your encouraging well wishes. You know well what it is like to have to be on the alert for physical health changes. Your bravery and support for your little one inspire me to pay attention and be open to the paths that life throws at us!
Agree!! And so good to hear from you.
Must pay attention, but so many times I miss the obvious. I overlook because my fear and stress take front seat. Later I can’t believe my cluelessness.
Wishing you and your husband a quiet autumn with no more medical emergencies!!
Thank you, I wish you and your family a quiet autumn too (but not too quiet – let the kiddos giggle lots!) xx
Thank you!! Aiming for a hospital-free autumn, winter. They giggle, fight, hug, compete, protect each other, and start the process all over again.
LOL – sound like perfect little humans! xx
Fantastic post Shelley.
Thank you! 🙂
So many things get in the way of trusting our instincts. Thank you for this important message and beautiful photos. Wishing you abundant blessings.
Thank you, JoAnna, your kindness is appreciated!
Again a special recollection, featuring your daughter. As I am typing this my matric (final year of high school) daughter is sitting across me studying mathematics which she writes tomorrow and next year it is university…
Aw…soak up all those moments, they fly by so quickly:-) Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Abrie, much appreciated.