Oh, mom, you didn’t, did you? A mom’s confession.

Dear Youngest Daughter,

You asked me why it didn’t work for me?  Why is it that after having read the book 3-4 times, bookmarked pages of importance, loved what I read – why is it that it didn’t work or didn’t stick for me?  I’ve thought long and hard about how to answer that question.  I like to give you an answer when you ask me a question.  So, I’ll give it my best shot.

It’s a great book.  It really is.  And the idea of keeping only things that bring you joy is a good idea.  But…

There’s something missing.  There’s more to determining joy in objects than the moment of decision.

There are the moments of life leading up to and after each moment that hold great weight in how we make decisions at any particular moment in time.

So, dear adulting child of mine, the simple reason why the book didn’t work for me is life changes, it doesn’t stay the same.  The choices I make today are based on today’s moments and whether I think they are joyful or not.  Tomorrow the joy I feel for that item may or may not be the same as it was today.

My 1st confession to you is I know that what I’m feeling today won’t last, it will change.  I’m a bit sadder these days knowing you are leaving again, so if I got rid of everything that didn’t bring me joy on a day when I was feeling ruthless, or sad, or depressed, or impatient, I’d be sorry later.

My 2nd confession is to remind you that our holding on to things that still have purpose has helped you as you’ve moved on from your college life, heck some of it even helped you while you were going through college.  You (we) were able to save money and get by cheap with the help of a few long-lost friends we kept stored in the barn over the years.

You sorted through them and found items no one else wanted in their homes anymore like they were treasures destined to be displayed.  And you cleaned them and refreshed them and made them your own.

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As I watched you, wearing the adopted jean jacket I wore in high school, with denim sleeves faded over time, scrubbing away on chairs that most definitely need repair, I was amazed at your desire to reuse and recycle.  And that you were okay with hand-me-down(up) stuff.  Stuff that was stored because it didn’t bring joy at a previous point in time, or it was replaced by “newer” and “better” keeping up with the Joneses kind of stuff at certain stages in our lives.  Those orange chairs were our first kitchen chairs.  We kept them because they might come in handy someday.  And they did.  They go perfectly with Nana’s old kitchen table.

My 3rd confession…(I’m on a roll confessing)…so yeah…while you were gone, I took pictures to remember how you made your temporary home-sweet-home.  Complete with those items you rescued from our discarded stash.  Mixed in perfectly with your own that you’ve kept over the years.

I was busted by Bee – don’t worry, she posed all on her own for me!

In all seriousness, I do agree with the author of the book.  She is right in that it is important to surround yourself with items that bring you joy.  Remember that moments of joy are intermixed with other emotions along the way.  Don’t make decisions in haste, doing so is such a waste.

Even if stuff is just stuff, remember moments of decisions are precious, too, so take in all of them you can get.

After all the years I’ve spent deciding what to keep and what to toss based upon what was happening in my life at that time, I know life changes and I don’t always make the best choices.  Especially if I made them abruptly and when I’m not in a good frame of mind.  So, please forgive me when I advise you different from what you’re thinking is best for you.  I always want the best for you.  Never doubt that.

And, yes, I know it’s time for you to move on to a new landing spot.  It’s okay, GO!, I’ll be okay, (we’ll be okay).

As you move on, I’ll treasure the reminders of how proud we are of your ability and willingness to be brave and try new things.  Your wings are ready to launch you off to new adventures again.  I’ll be watching you and learning from you as you move on.

And, by golly gee whiz, after all this confessing, I must say, I’m feeling a bit of joy among the sadness.  It’s important to be open to the lessons you’ll find in life and stuff from the barn.

For now, I’m smiling because I have proof of pictures to remember how stuff, 1-2 or 3 times discarded, did have a purpose and brought joy more than once in a lifetime.

PS – And…I’ll never stop missing you!  xx – Love, Mom

Post Inspiration:  Linda Hill OneLiner Wednesday:  Confession Time