I can just hear my co-workers now…How was your trip? Did you have a great vacation? I bet it was fun to be away from emails and work? You look so refreshed?
Do tell, what did you do?
Oh, I had a great time – I read books, dined at restaurants, upgraded my phone, laid around, dropped off tax papers at the accountant’s office, filled up my gas tank, drank a few drinks, watched the sunset, and spent thousands on a new mattress. You know, just your typical run of the mill staycation in rural Wisconsin.
Are you kidding me?
Nope. Sorry for the letdown, the beach just wasn’t cutting it for us this year.
It’s hard to top the staycation we set a few years ago. That year, man o’ man, we had the best staycation ever. It came in the form of a new roof for our house AND our garage.
Ah, those summer nights we spent staring at the beauty of it are etched in my mind. You can’t top that!
But we came damn close this year!
After I finished reading this book, I had all the f*cking confidence in the world to have a great time.
I got up on Sunday morning, stiff as hell, and said to the Mr. “We’re going to get a new mattress today. The ditch has got to go.”
“Okay, my back is killing me, grrr…I’m game, what kind, and where?”
“Let’s go to Sleep Express, and not buy the kind we bought before, the ditches prove that we’re not going with that kind of mattress ever again!”
We headed out to the store, convinced we weren’t going to compromise and get suckered into a Vera Wang mattress again (12 years later, we’re smart now). We tried 4 different mattresses, multiple times. The salesman got his workout following us back and forth across the store.
He knew from the start that we were easy prey.
We walked in, (with confidence), shook his hand and said, “We’re here to buy a new mattress. We know we don’t want ____, ____, ____, etc.”
He was a damned good salesman, letting us sell our own selves on the perfect model for us. We ended up buying exactly the type of mattress (Vera Wang was extinct…at least the deer in the headlights look on the salesman’s face indicated so) we said we didn’t want to buy.
I might need to re-read the book?
Now, instead of dreaming of our roof over our heads, we’re dreaming of the nights we’ll spend on that new mattress from heaven. We’re counting down the days until it arrives.
The nightmares have started though.
The tax papers are taking way too long to come back (I dropped them off on Friday, it’s Tuesday morning before 8:00 am…) – we’re probably going to owe, isn’t that nice? The Discover bill is on the way.
The monsters of the past are lurking in the dark.
I’ve been dreaming and planning on how we’re going to get the ditch out and put the new mattress into the room all in one day. Twelve years of blocking the pathway to the room may be problematic?
I keep reassuring myself that the delivery guys must know how to navigate challenging deliveries, right? That’s their job. They aren’t on staycation on Saturdays, they are working.
I’m sure they’ve seen plenty of scary, humongous, gargantuan dust bunnies in their day. Right? Our house could never host something that scary.
I’m afraid to look. The embarrassment will be too much to bare (bear).
Wait…it’s the nightmares talking.
I better look at the bed to see for myself? Sh*t I’m scared to! There are dust bunnies everywhere in the house, I’m sure under the bed is a hot spot as well. Don’t try to tell me otherwise! I’m serious…
For the life of me, I can’t remember the last time I vacuumed under the bed. It might have been the staycation before the last one? The years of fun have blurred together!
The bed has that dust ruffle thingamajiggy. There shouldn’t be any way dust can get under the bed? The spot under the bed is a constant hiding spot for cats who hate vacuum cleaners. What a sucker I was when I bought that thing thinking it would keep out critters?
Nah, on second thought, never mind, vacuuming can wait. Delivery isn’t until this weekend and I gotta drag my ass back to work anyhow. I remembered to enjoy the sunset on my day and a half staycation. Winter skies and ways to spend money on a staycation change quickly around these parts!
How about you? Are you a staycation kind of person? What’s your favorite staycation story?
#Twisted Tuesday GFTH-GFTB
Staycation for me all the way! We bought a memory foam mattress a year ago and we already have that dreaded ditch. We bought a demo so we couldn’t even return it after spending $1800 on a box spring and mattress. Ugh. Now I want a nee bed!
Glad to hear you enjoy staycations too! Darn memory foam doesn’t hold up, Grrr! The salesman did say the ditch will happen, eventually, but a year seems pretty darn fast! 🙁
Every sales person in the place said they had a memory pfoam and loved it. Liars, or maybe theirs cost a lot more, etter wuality. Never again for me.
That’s very frustrating, sorry to hear it happened! Way to stand your ground!
Send the cats back under the bed and see how quickly they clean themselves. Within 6 seconds = 12 dust bunnies, 12 seconds = 6 d.b.’s, etc. Factor in length of cleaning time and voila! You’ll have your answer! Seriously though, don’t most places that deliver a new mattress pick up the old one?
LOL! Now that you mention that, the cats do come out a bit dusty after they go under the bed! Yes, we made sure they were going to pick up the old one. Never again will I buy from a place that doesn’t do so, it’s really hard to get rid of old mattresses! 😉
Love the sky blue door! We staycationed a few years ago to replace our roof too. It was lovely! All of the drilling and hammering and swearing, like music in my ears. 😉
LOL – Thank you! We experienced the same thing. We had some fun people watching moments too, the roof crew enjoyed our daily offering of doughnuts 😉