Over our years together (going on 30 to be exact), Mr. and I have chosen not to do the traditional things for each other for Valentine’s day.
Well, not since the first one.
That’s the one where he gave me our official engagement ring, a card, some chocolate, and a dinner date. You can’t repeat that every year, it would be boring, right?
We formed our first layer of our relationship and our commitment to love.
Then, of course there was the wedding, but that’s a given next layer. We were cute, and oh, so young.
But, after that, maybe a card a year, for a while, and then, we discovered that love isn’t in a card on a Hallmark holiday. Those cards, by the way, seem to have gotten very pricey over the years, and definitely not part of a tropical vacation year budget!
But, love can be found in the card aisle where we can pick out a card, show it to each other, said “Aw, you pick out the best cards, honey, I love you!” Grab a quick smooch with each other in the aisle when no one is looking, and then put the cards back in the slot, go buy a steak to cook on the grill, and a bottle of wine to celebrate.
That cheap, but nourishing layer has been a strong one for us. Spending time together beats any card we’ve purchased over the years.
That’s love’s enduring layer. In our books anyhow.
And, true love is also thinking back to all the years we’ve been together. Every growing together moment makes up a different love layer. Every moment we’ve watched our kids grow and change and take their own paths.
Then there are the moments of extra thick love when he puts up with my obsessions. Or interests as we call them. I do the same for him, but his are different from mine.
Mr.’s been learning how a 3-d printer isn’t a pull it out of the box and it works kind of printer. Like marriage, it takes lots of tweaking to get layers of perfection.
He has learned so much, yet, still, he’s finding what works and doesn’t. Every facet of it has its unique quirks. Kind of like his wife, but that’s just me, making the analogy work!
It’s fascinating and fun to watch him, I love how excited he’s been when things turn out. And he surprises me with little gifts that printed while I slept.
He’s got quite the impressive collection of ‘experiments’, don’t ya think? We might need a bigger bar?
Me, on the other hand, I tend to focus on selfish things, like transforming myself. Um, yeah, my most recent obsession re fitting my sagging skin into a bikini has been a test of true love.
Mr. has perfected the correct responses over the years, though. He whips out appropriate replies to my inquiries about hair styles, outfits, retail therapy sessions, which shoes go best with outfits, the dreaded ‘does this make me look fat’, do you want to go to the party with me, are you embarrassed by my hair at this stage, or my newest one, “Will you be embarrassed walking down the beach with me in this bikini?”
He learned one of the bigger lessons on how tricky it is to find the best reply a couple of years ago. Ah, yes, that glorious halo of white on my head, unicorn and all, when I decided to let my hair go its natural gray.
If you’re lucky to find someone who loves you and your imperfections, you’ve got a keeper I say! That February was what I’d call the worst wild ride stage for us.
Around 6 months into the journey, my shaky emotions were on high gear and break-downs were right on the edge of every glance at the mirror. I even cut off a bunch of layers to make it easier on my confidence…sort of…
Mr. came to the rescue, he knew it is best to keep me preoccupied with something else to transform. Time flies when you hand me a task to take my mind off of things.
Me, my ever-growing head of gray hair, and my office still have our new look. I’m grateful he is here to support every new layer.
Plus, he knows that then I get to watch him in action – he’s so cute when he’s busy remodeling, or creating new things, or adding another layer to something that needs a little TLC.
Maybe that’s why he loves his printer so much? It’s like me and our marriage! (See, I can make it about me and my beach obsession…eventually?! – BTW – I can’t wait to recreate this photo…)
Mr is my one love and a keeper for sure. His consolation in all of this is that I’m like a 3-d printer, I’m unpredictable and a work in progress! Yet, together, in love, we can always find ways to make our best layers stick.
Post Inspiration – Valentine’s Day
PS – What do you love so much you’d spend the rest of your life doing? Have you found true love in some aspect of your life – be it a person, place, thing, or something you find joy doing? I hope you spend the day enjoying exactly what makes your heart skip a beat! xx
I love seeing the photos of you and Mr. ………. such a love story!
Thank you, I’m touched by your appreciation!
seeing you together in photos makes me believe that there could actually be someone out there for me, too ……… unless they were run over by a semi or something …
Such a beautiful story of love, Shelley! Congrats on almost thirty years. 🙏🏻☺️😎
Thank you, John, your kind and sweet words mean a lot to us!
Very sweet tribute to your marriage and Valentine’s Day. Funny tradition at the card store! 🙂
Thank you, your encouragement means a lot to us. That silly tradition has saved us lots of $ too ;-)!
Well, my husband and I have saved all our cards and started “re-gifting” them several years ago. It’s really fun…and interesting at the same time to see how the cards (and the text) changed over the years.
That’s awesome. Does he remember the cards, or do you? Or both, and is that part of the fun too? I’m liking the idea, will need to give that a try next year. Now if I can only remember to do that!?!
Yes we remember. Took a few years though. We each have a box full…clearly labeled. For going “card shopping” in the closet!!
I love that idea!! I can’t wait to make my own box!
Yeah, the words and stuff were all sweet and touching, etc. But NOTHING beats that first pic of you guys. The cuteness overload approaches critical! Lol – you look like you should be wearing a poodle skirt, given the hair style. Cute, I say!! Not that you’re not still do-able now, of course. But…CUTE! Seriously though, that was a wonderful entry. I hope you and the lucky bastard have another 30 years ahead filled with as much joy, love, and obsessions…er, interests….as the first 30. Despite, y’know, the diapers at some point. 🙂
LOL – I’ve so missed your brutal critiques on marriage advice. It’s hard to top you and The New Wifey and the FitBit bit…! I adore that she’s wise too when it comes to cards. 4 years in a row and you forgot it? Come on now… But you do recover well with that cooking and steaming things up for her enough to get to 116! PS – we’ll all be enjoying those diapers at some point, I wonder if they look good on the beach? Happy Birthday, by the way!
To be fair, I didn’t “forget” it. “Forgetting” entails first being made aware of something, followed by retaining it. My eyes may have been directed in the general vicinity of that card each of those four years, but my brain was focused on various depictions of Claudia Schiffer. Card? What card? So I couldn’t forget something I didn’t actually see, you know? That’s how I’m excusing myself, anyway.
Thanks for the birthday wishes, and for your always astute appreciation of my entries!
(What does an 85 year old woman taste like?
Depends….)
😉
Lovely love story. So nice to read about couples who are still happy… after all these years.
Thank you, Ally – it’s so nice to be appreciated for the longevity of love :-)!
That was a special love story – thank you for sharing it and all Mr.’s attributes as well.
Thank you, Linda :-)!