How accountability partners help you succeed in going gray

How do you find the courage to stay on target to complete a tough project?  How do you stay present 100% of the way to your finish line?

What if you’re doing something that you aren’t sure you really want to do, or you aren’t sure if others will approve of the project you are about to embark on?

What do you do in those situations?

You think, “Holy shit, this is tough,” right?  All you need is an extra level of courage to follow through to completion, right?  Is that really all you need?  I don’t think so!

Courage is grace under pressure. – Ernest Hemingway

Last year, at this exact time, I had 2 big projects going on.  One project I was head over heels into, i.e., going gray.  I also started a less fun project of purging and downsizing papers.  For a paperclutteraholic, that project was (is) a seriously daunting, mental head game.

Two head game projects going on at the same time – one was(is) doomed to fail!

You can see to the right, (my About Me picture) I succeeded in my going gray project.

Way to go Me!

In the picture below, you can see my purging of boxes was a perfectly-practical-universal, selective neglect, star winning event, taking my commercial strength to move boxes of contents from one room back and forth into the same storage spot in 2017, all done in high-speed, coming to a raging halt, right smack in my way in my office for one whole fricken year (and counting)!

A successful failure…

Wait, why call it a successful failure?  Because, at 2 stopping points in my Nike marathon of paper purging, I made a decision to change course, turning the project into a successful failure.

Dreams don’t come true, decisions do.

I made a decision to not deal with the boxes.  I decided to move them out-of-the-way until I was ready to deal with them.  Then lo and behold, like the Virgin Mary appearing out of the blue at Christmas time, the boxes were glowingly in the way of where the crèche was supposed to go.  Like every faithful procrastinator does, I decided to move them back to their former spot in my office.  Right, smack, whammo, bingo, whoopee – in my present way – again!

A successful failure!  

But, if I successfully failed at not dealing with my boxes, why was it that I did succeed in going gray?

If you want the present to be different from the past, study the past. – Baruch Spinoza

Let’s analyze the situations – both required these essential pieces:

1. Commitment to follow-through.
2. A plan with steps, stages, and mile markers to show forward progress.
3. A specific ‘what does it look like when I’m done’ goal.
4. Accountability partners.

Okay, yeah, I get it, you were with me up until #4, right?

Who the hell was my accountability partner for going gray and why would I need partners anyhow?  Going gray was really just ‘my thing (project).  In fact, both of the projects were (are) just my deal, something that I want(ed) to do.  Why do I need a partner?

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to change you is the greatest accomplishment. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Last year, I was feeling shaky about completing the “GG” project at the same time I was redoing my office.  In order to get the office remodel done, all I had to was move shit out of my way.  Since the boxes were moved to a low-traffic area, it was easy to just leave them to sit until traffic picked up again.  My accountability partners (cats) enjoyed sitting on the boxes, and the Mr. enjoyed teasing me about how long they were there collecting an appropriate amount of dust.

As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.

My “GG” project, on the other hand, needed more attention and TLC.  I was 6 months into it and it was the ‘this sucks’ stage.  The newness of the project had worn off and the finish line was way out there, too far for me to see.  The daily world I ventured out into was full of people who weren’t doing what I was doing.

The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.

I felt ashamed, sad, lonely, insecure, depressed, and ready to quit.  But I didn’t want to let myself down, and I didn’t want to cave to the color-my-hair-again bottle.  I needed support to keep going outside of the Mr. who got used to my transitional look(s).

As a newbie blogger, I sat down and wrote a post about my favorite motivational quotes to keep myself excited about the “GG” journey.  I hadn’t figured out a privacy setting in WordPress, hadn’t stumbled upon the Community Pool or the Daily Post Prompts, and no one was reading my blog, but little ol’ me.

I was all alone, feeling sorry for myself, on an imaginary tropical island. 

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I needed some motivation to keep excited about the Going Gray journey.   I tried styling my hair differently.  I kept putting on a smile.  But it wasn’t enough.

I decided I couldn’t do it alone.  I needed more support than me, myself, and I (and the Mr. who had already just let his hair be hair.).

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I searched and found accountability partners in the Gray and Proud Facebook group.  They were there doing the same thing as I was doing, loving it, being scared of it, and at the same time, they were getting the going gray thing done!  If they could do it, I could too!

I wasn’t alone!  Finding people who successfully completed going gray was a Hallelujah moment in my journey.  That group of incredibly supportive accountability partners helped me keep on keeping on as I grew out of my demarcation line stage to the finish line!

Keep going.  Each step may get harder, but don’t stop.  The view at the top is beautiful!

What are your favorite motivational quotes?  What do you think about accountability partners?  What’s your success story, share your blog post or comments below, I’d love to hear your story!