On 9/12/16 I colored my hair a transitional brownish color for the last time. My hairdresser and I have been talking about me going gray for 2 years. Enough is enough.
Yes, I said it. I’m committed to it. I’m going to let my hair go GRAY! No worries, even if I look a little scared…that too shall pass.
I have nothing against my hairdresser. She’s awesome. Our motivations are obviously different. Her livelihood is doing hair treatments. I can only imagine how hard it is not to encourage me to keep coloring. She knows the stages where people cave and go back to the dark side.
What are my motivations? Why go gray? Why write about it in a blog?
I’m just plain sick of coloring. I’m sure there are others who are thinking about it too. Or they are going through it now and might like to share their thoughts with me. I’d love to hear from you!
I started coloring about 12 years ago when my natural salt and pepper look was questioned by a few people. They were right, at 40, why would I want to be going gray? I tried the semi-permanent stuff first to get my appetite for coloring going. Semi-permanent stuff faded way too quickly and it looked awful in-between coloring appointments. I jumped in with the permanent colors. They lasted longer. I was officially suckered in. I joined the coloring bandwagon. I began to despise the outgrowth phase and was addicted to keeping up with coloring.
Even with permanent coloring, it is an emotional roller coaster. Watching yourself age, over and over, plays tricks with a coloring addictive mind.
Week 1 – back to the 30’s look (a girl can dream right?)
Week 2 – 35’s
Week 3 – 40’s
Week 4 – 45’s
Week 5 – 50’s
As I watched my hair change color every 5 weeks it reminded me of the scene from The Santa Clause movie. No matter how much hair coloring Tim Allen used, his hair would turn right back to white. Santa is, after all, a white-haired guy, why fight it?
I’m glad to be free of the chemicals. They simply can’t be good for us. Yuck…ammonia, formaldehyde, sodium lauryl sulfates, and parabens. Oh my, none sound particularly healthy to put on our heads. read more This site scared me even more: hair dye facts Sure, there are alternatives, but hair grows (thankfully), so it is still 5 weeks of going through the decades.
My hair has always been course, so no fear with the theory of mature hair being courser. I don’t like how my hair feels after coloring, my head feels itchy and it burns during the process. I’ve noticed more and more thinning over time. While thinning is part of natural aging, I’m concerned coloring may be contributing and doing serious damage to my hair.
Mature skin color changes by fading and losing pigment. Coloring hair actually may have a bit of a counterproductive effect. As the hair coloring fades, we may just look more tired. Come to think of it, I’ve heard many times when I approach the 5-week mark, “You look tired dear, everything okay?” I guess I look tired to them, even if I’m not feeling tired. Oh, my graycious, why would I want that tired look to continue?
Enough already! I want to be authentic to myself. I’m 51 going on 52 and my hair is naturally going gray. I am who I am. Frankly, I’m really curious about how gray my hair really is? A hairdresser can only give an estimate of 50 – 70 – 100% gray. No one really knows until they just let it grow out. Going gray fits my desire to keep learning new things about myself and life after 50. I’m excited to be free from wanting to look 40 again.
If I’m willing to say what’s on my mind, why not be willing to do so spouting the mature look along with it? Yes, I’d rather say “mature” than “aged” look. Gray hair doesn’t have to mean mature. There are many younger women intentionally coloring their hair gray. It’s trendy. It’s the new black. It’s cool, right? I won’t have to pay to have the newest look in hair color! Amen to that!
Just like preparing for a marathon, going gray is going to be a challenge (mental) for me. Physically, my head will grow gray hair. My mind inside my head is going to fight emotional battles along the way to gray.
Emotional Battles to Overcome:
1. Stomach sickness (the queasy feeling when you’re scared to do something)
2. Sadness
3. Isolation
4. Shame
5. Aging
6. Fear
Oh good graycious, that’s enough for today. Come back soon to see the progress!
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