It’s quiet here this morning in our Lil’ ol’ empty nest. I’m an empty nest Mom, on Mother’s Day. There, I said it.
It’s the first Mother’s Day where I won’t see either daughter. We have no forced plans to see them. Or a vacation to share. I can’t believe we haven’t hugged since we were in Jamaica in March.
We’re not moving either one of them from one location to another like we’ve done for what seems like the past decade. They won’t be traveling here today.
It feels weird, and a little lonely. No tears have been shed, though, almost. But, no, I held them back. No real ones, just water droplets on my bleeding hearts.
As I weeded my flower beds yesterday, I thought a lot about our empty nest and Mother’s Day. My thoughts were just as messy as the weeds. The bed I had neglected last year was in desperate shape. I’m feeling a lot like that flower bed, I need some more work to get into this empty nest mom thing.
I yanked some weeds and said to myself, “I’m still a mom, even if I won’t see them in person to share a hug.”
I miss those days – wow, it’s been 20 years ago since they’d play dress up. And dance around the room.
I miss those days when they’d snuggle up close by me and we’d eat a whole bowl of popcorn.
I miss those days when they’d pose for photos. And when they’d lose teeth. And how they made faces for the camera.
I miss those days when they’d make a mess with Play-Doh.
We’re not that young family anymore.
I miss my mom, too. I wonder if she felt like I do when her nest was empty? It’s been 20 years ago since we took that photo I framed.
I can still feel the warmth of her hugs, she’s only been gone 7 years, but the warm memories are near and dear to my heart. I’m sure my kids miss her, and I’m sure they miss me, too. Moms sure are easy to miss.
But, as I dug and pulled at each weed in the flower bed, it looked better, I felt better, and my head cleared, too. I even moved on to the next bed, and the next one, until they were all ready for the arrival of warmer weather. Especially my memory garden beds.
My flower beds are ready to sprout, and you know what, so am I. If I can’t mother my kids anymore, goodness knows they’re good with me not doing so, then I can at least mother my memory gardens, right? And I can mother myself and my dreams for this stage in my life.
Mr. must’ve known I was feeling a bit blue. He warmed up the afternoon with a beer can chicken and a martini to toast my mom (it was her favorite drink).
As I admired Mr.’s handiwork – I sipped the martini and ate that chicken. Both were so delicious. I glanced out the window and saw the hummingbird. Ah, yes, their arrival means it is warm enough for them to survive, and spring is here.
I felt better, knowing that means there will be more moments outside to nurture my empty nesting mom’s soul. I went to bed dreaming of my dreams and my kids. I woke this morning damn sore after all the weeding of the garden beds. I need to rest today – that’s okay, it’s Mother’s Day after all! And I get to spend much of it with my mother-in-law, too.
By the coffee pot this morning, I was pleasantly surprised to find a card and a 3-d printed gift for Mother’s Day.
I held back a tear. It is such a beautiful empty nest kind of card – hug-worthy for Mr. He’s so sweet, plus he helped a lot to make me a mom, I should never forget that!
My how I miss our kids, the other two reasons I’m called a mom. I miss how they would stand next to me when I opened cards and read them out loud to them. Instead, as I opened the card and read the words, Mr. stood by me, ready for a warm hug he knew I’d need.
Aw, Mr. knows me so well. His cards are perfect.
It’ll be a good day. The sun is shining. No teardrops, here, just lots of dew drops to discover!
I’m sure I’ll get a SnapChat from my kids. And I’ll smile a lot. After all, I’m on a mission to mother a dream or two of my own. I wonder if I’ll be easy to mother or not? Will I be like a rebel teenager or will I be a good girl like my two girls are?
With a mother’s love, I wish you good cheer! xx
Post Inspiration – Sunday Stills – Warmth
PS – Happy Mother’s Day! Have you ever had beer can chicken? What are your plans for the day? I hope it involves relaxing!
Wonderful memories! Happy Mother’s Day, Shelley!
Thank you!! Happy Mother’s Day to you too!!
So very very sweet. Lovely photos and memories. These holidays are always difficult for us empty nesters. I feel fortunate this year – my son is coming up for the day. I really like that 3D gift – so cool!! Lucky you 🙂
Happy Mother’s Day!
Aw, thank you!! Yes, these days can be hard. Enjoy the time with your son!! Gather lots of hugs to hold you over!!! Happy Mother’s Day to you!
Happy Mother’s Day, Shelley. I’m sending you a big cheesy smile to cheer you up. 😁 I thought I’d throw in a few more for good measure. 😀😁😃😄🙂.
😉
Aw, thank you – I love those cheesy smiles!!! Happy Mother’s Day to you too!! Your smiles brightened my day!!
Thank you and i’m glad you liked the smiles. 😏
Beautiful post. I have been an empty nest mom for years and we adjust – notice I did not say it gets easier – just different.
Wishing you a picture perfect Mother’s Day, Shelley.
Thank you, Maggie. You’re right, we adjust. Hope you had a wonderful day too!
Your post really struck a chord Shelley. Missing my mom whom I lost 17 years ago and at the same time missing days past when my son was much younger and lived at home. I’ve become less & less of a fan of Mother’s Day, if I’m being honest.
Aw, yes, I understand how you feel. We never stop missing our moms. I hope you found ways to relax. xx
The weather was beautiful for a change so we went for a long drive in the country. It turned out ok. I did get to see our son that evening which is always a joy. I hope your Mother’s Day was nice. 🙂
Yay – glad you got to see the sun and your son! That’s a great way to spend Mother’s Day. Yes, my day was very nice. 🙂
Happy Mother’s Day Shelley, really great photos! I love how the chicken is sitting up with no head!
Thank you, John! The chicken on the beer can stand always strikes me as funny too!
Cute pictures. Happy Mother’s Day to you.
Thank you, Janet – same to you! Hope you had a great day!
Hope you have a great day. We started late on the kid thing so ours are both still at home. I can’t quite imagine what it will be like when they’re not.
My hubby does beer can chicken too. So good. And he also likes that half a beer MUST be consumed before the garlic and spices can go into the can and from there into the chicken!
Yes, thank you, it was a nice day! I hope you had a great day too – and that your kids spoiled you for the day! LOL – yes, Mr. enjoys the beer consumption part as well. I don’t think he puts the spices in the can though?! I’ll have to ask him! Thanks for the new idea!
Happy Mother’s Day!
Thank you John!
Ahh, it’s a tough transition, isn’t it? Happy Mothers’ Day! Your hubby did a good job with the card and I love the 3D figure. Cute!
Your gardens are looking good. I am also “damn sore” from weeding yesterday. It wasn’t raining, but I was in a turtleneck and a sweatshirt! Still, the gardens are looking better (well, some of them…I have a lot to go) and today I’m not working. FaceTime and phone calls are our friends, even though we’d prefer to have them around the table. 🙂
Yes, it is. But we all make it through this stage and on to the next. Yes, Mr. did a good job. The funny thing is one of my dearest friends sent me a snap of the card and flowers she got from her husband – it was the SAME one that I got.
I’m happy with my garden status – now if I can just maintain until I can actually plant annuals, I will be good to go until I give up on maintaining again. Wow – a turtleneck and a sweatshirt! That’s chilly – way to endure through the elements for your plants!
I hope you relaxed and had a wonderful day!
That was such a beautiful post Shelley – bittersweet in many ways as you touch on your mom and then reflect on your girls through the years. They were such cute kids, now attractive young women, standing at your side in Jamaica in March. You and Mr. have done a good job raising them and then setting them free. I know the feeling of logging too many hours outside in the garden so I hope you got some R&R in today. I’ve never had beer can chicken but heard of it – it looks delicious. Mr. is thoughtful … from the card, to the mother and child ornament, to the beer can chicken and even the martini to toast your beloved mom. You may have had a yardful of emotions yesterday, but you bundled them up with the weeds at day’s end. I love the picture of dew drops on the grass and the shimmering lights from the dew – you did a similar photo at Christmas with the lights and I remarked at the time how I liked that effect. You’ll see the girls at Thanksgiving hopefully?
Thank you, Linda! It was a good day, even if I couldn’t see the girls. I love dewdrop photography. I hope I see the girls before Thanksgiving – I may need to drive to them to do it, but that’s okay, roadtrips are fun too.
I have never tried dewdrop photographer … you amazed me how you haunched down so close to the ground. I’m not that flexible anymore – I wouldn’t be able to get back up. That’s good you’ll see the girls before then – go before the snow returns.
I think you might remember the picture I had of my grandmother holding the old camera? She held her camera at waist height. That gave me the idea to do that with my camera when I’m squatting down. I just hold my camera at arms length and snap away. Like I said, I get a lot of crappy shots, but sometimes I get some really cool ones too. Yes, I’m looking forward to seeing the girls a few more times, I hope, before the snow flies!
Good thing you saw that photo and I do remember the post as I believe that is the one we commented on the Baby Brownie? I never thought about holding the camera lower. Or squatting either. I cannot bend my knees like I used to – don’t know if it was a few tumbles I’ve taken in my lifetime and fell on my knees but I suspect it is too much sitting in one position – that is why I started walking in 2011. I could not longer bend on my knees to get into low kitchen cupboards- I should be more limber.
Yes, that’s the post. You’re wise to keep moving. As my old dear doctor friend told me, if you don’t move it you lose it. Balance and flexibility decreases with age unless we keep moving.
Yes, I was just watching a video yesterday on BobandBrad.com – it told you how to break your fall. I have heard that about balance and flexibility being diminished and that is the reason for so many seniors’ falls. Scary to think about this.
Keep moving – and stretching. Sitting all day is bad for you, but so is doing any one position all day. You’re on the right track by walking as much as you do. That’s a great exercise!
Had a great walk this morning – out of the house before 7 and up to Heritage Park and got in 5 miles and took the big camera again (still on manual, but at least using it). We’re in for a slew of rainy days again and in the long-range forecast too so I wanted to get a few pictures on hand.
Yay!! Good for you!!!
Such a heartfelt post Shelley, it’s not easy letting go and facing this new stage. I am a half nester, missing our son a lot. Was looking forward to the 25th when college ended and his expected return but he plans to stay there & work there now.
I’m looking forward to hearing what you get up to as you go about your “mission to mother a dream or two of my own.” I hope it encourages me also to creat new dreams. Have fun! Marie xx
Aw, thank you, Marie – I’m glad you enjoyed the post and can relate to my words. I hope your son’s final days of school go well and that his return works well for all.
I’m looking forward to this stage of discovery and creating dreams. Thank you for your well wishes and interests in the ideas! xx
My pleasure. Xx
Lovely, Shelley! I hope you enjoyed your whole day. I’m sure it’s a tough transition. Glad it was only dewdrops and not tears. Happy belated Mother’s Day!
Thank you, Rebecca. Yes, it was a good day. I hope you had a wonderful day, too, and that your boys spoiled you! Happy belated Mother’s Day to you!
Aww, Shelley, this made me shed a tear as I read this. Your daughters pics remind me of mine, your memories are so poignant. This was my first Mother’s day spent with both daughters in ages. In their 30s, they live far enough away to make it inconvenient. My step daughter also lives in San Diego so at least all our collective kids live in the same city except for my oldest daughter. I think I did some gardening last year, myself. They bought me a beautiful potted hydrangea 3 years ago and it’s happily living in my garden!
Aw, I’m glad my words touched you as a fellow empty nest mom. I hope your day together was extra special. Hydrangeas are so pretty – I’d love to have one some day. It’s nice to hear how yours continues to grow. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
As a fellow empty nester, I feel your Mother’s Day angst. No body came to visit me. No gift certificates. Mo massages. Lunch out. Dinner out. Thankfully I did get a car and a phone call from each of my two daughters. That’s something.
I did have plans to go to a Botanical Garden with hubby on Mother’s Day. But we found out Nick’s mother had a quick knee replacement operation on Friday and she was sitting alone in the hospital on Mother’s Day. Nick’s both sisters were busy. So, we drove to spend the day with her in the hospital. And, it turned out to be a fun day! Lots of hugging, kissing and gabbing about all the other relatives!!!
I found that my being caring to another mother, made my own Mother’s Day much more a blessing.
Go figure.
Hope you had a wonderful day.
Thank goodness for husbands, right????
Aw, yes, you can relate. That’s nice they called you!! I saw the picture on Instagram – Bionic Mom made me smile. So nice that you found joy mothering your mother-in-law for the day. Caring for others is what we mother’s do. Yes, thank goodness for our husbands, too! Happy Mother’s day month to you, Cindi!
Thank you💕