Book Review – Travels with Epicurus

My mom died at the age of 71.  That was too young according to her primary care physician.  71 is only 18 years older than I am right now.  When I think about a span of 18 years, that’s how long it took me or my children (or all of us) to branch from birth to graduating from high school.  18 years of living isn’t that long, is it?

It is not by the gray of the hair that one knows the age of the heart. – Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton

 

Yesterday, I finished reading (recommended by a fellow blogger – Thank you, by the way, Dr. B) the book: Travels with Epicurus:  A Journey to a Greek Island in Search of a Fulfilled Life by Daniel Klein.  A reblog connection to Dr. B’s review is here:

Daniel’s journey, from an aging male’s perspective, was intriguing and thought-provoking (as every philosophical book should be).  I enjoyed reading his writing style, and highly recommend you read it, too.  The questions he pondered and wrote about in his charming travel adventure book, as he searched for the meaning of a fulfilled life, got me thinking about my own life.

As I woke up this morning, I reflected on Daniel’s words of wisdom, and the years left to live in my life (as if I can predict them).  Looking in the mirror I no longer resemble the famous star I did way back when my first gray hairs appeared.

(By the way, now that I got your attention, I can tell you for a fact, aging has nothing to do with gray hair.  I grew gray hairs all along because that’s the hair I was born with, not that my life caused gray hair. Yes, dear readers, I digressed to make that point.) 

I have aged, no doubt.  But in 18 or 20 years from now – I, too, will be 71 or 73, the age Daniel was when he wrote the book.  Which time slot of my life did I or will I feel old?  Was it when I was young and I couldn’t wait to be 18, or is it now at 53 when I’m not really looking forward to being 71?

Don’t we all want to grow older for several periods in our life until we realize the end of our lifespan is closer than we wish to admit?

Daniel took a month to travel and ponder his questions about what is a fulfilled life?  If you had a month without any commitments, would you go visit a place you had been earlier in your life, to see if that’s where the answers can be found?  Taking a full month off of normal everyday life to discover anything does sounds like fun to me.

Would having answers to your questions make you feel contentment, or would the answers lead you to live a fulfilled life?  Is that what we all search for in life?  Or are we searching for joy, or love, or happiness, or old age?  Does it take getting old to find it?  He addressed questions like that and more in his book.

What is an old age to you?

Is it when you feel old or when you reach a rightful age of say 71?  81?  91?  101?  How about going the other direction is it when you’re 41?  51?  61?

It depends on what you think an old person looks or acts like physically or what they do on a daily basis.  Do they just sit around waiting to die?  That’s what my mom did at the age of 66.  She worked until she retired at around 60 years of age, she volunteered after that, and then she had failing health which changed her retirement years into the time in life where all she wanted to do was die.

Most of the time that is.  She didn’t want to die when she was with people she loved, looking at things she remembered, or sharing conversations she enjoyed.  At those times she didn’t act old – she smiled and her eyes sparkled remembering and reminiscing.  But, she was old in her physical abilities to do any of the things she once enjoyed doing.  In her mind, she was 42, but her body told her she was old.

How strange this fear of death is!  We are never frightened at a sunset. – George MacDonald

Talk about confusing, and not a description of the typical ‘old’ most of us consider as right, let alone something we desire to become.  Dementia does that to a brain and a body.  None of us plan for or want that as we live our lives until we’re old.  We don’t say when we’re in our 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s, while we’re actively stressing our bodies to get ahead in life that, “I want to have a stroke at 66 and live like I’m 90, waiting around to die.”

No, we don’t.  No one wants to grow old and live in an old geezer’s home (as my mom affectionately called it).  As much as we wish we could set an age limit for ‘old’, our old age homes don’t discriminate, they accept all ages whether we think we’re ready to go there or not.  And we don’t stop expecting to age gracefully; expecting we will have predictable failing health; and ultimately expecting we will pass away peacefully in our sleep at the rightful old age of, say 100.

…at what moment will we have lived a fulfilled life?  I don’t think we should wait to find out until we’re old, we should live a fulfilled life each and every day until we die.  

Have you read Travels with Epicurus?  What did you think about the book?  What is your advice for living a fulfilled life?