Ah, another beautiful morning – Yay, me! – I got a head start, I awakened at 4:00 am, excited about the day to celebrate a 2-year accomplishment of being fully transitioned to my original hair length.
My life decision to embrace my gray hair brings me daily peace in my life. Going gray is not for everyone, I understand that, but it was the right decision for me.
As I let Copper out to do his early morning business, I glanced up at the sky. Early morning stars sparkling and the wind was calm. I took a deep breath of the cool morning air and sighed…”I love it when the world seems at peace.”
I want to bottle those moments or capture them on film, but I know it isn’t worth it to run and grab my camera, some moments are just better absorbed by viewing only. From a distance, we gain perspective.
I looked to the north, and nope, no Northern Light display like the Facebook feeds promised would happen this week. Broken promises are tough to take. I’ll be damned, we can’t always believe what we read on social media, can we?
The stars and planets glowing brightly against the dark blue sky made me smile, and appreciate how big this world really is.
And…how small I am.
I’m just another person in this world who made the decision to go gray. No biggy, right? But I made it for 2 years now!! Yay, me! Never going back, nope, never going back to the dye! Despite the media and social platforms telling me gray hair means I’m OLD…and dull…and blah, blah, blah…all twisted lies, I tell ya…!
What have I learned as I reflect on the going gray journey?
Oh, yeah, to digress, my social media plug for the day…ugh, it’s just a thing bloggers do, anyhoo…here’s the first post I wrote about the big decision. I documented much of my journey here on this page, just for those inquiring minds who enjoy photographic proof of history unfolding (LOL!).
Where was I? Oh yeah…
After 2 years, I’m finding I care less and less for terms like – “Gray Hair – Don’t Care”. I feel overwhelming sadness for those starting out and feel that they have to say ‘I don’t care’ as they take the plunge to ditch the dye.
Oh, crap, I embraced the same thoughts when I was starting out on the going gray journey. Why do we do that? Because we have to muster up the courage to go against what society appears to think is the “you’re letting yourself go” route. I don’t care what others think is a mantra taken on to get through the process.
Trust me, the cold-turkey-cut-out-the-dye-route is not for the faint of heart unless you know you can go confidently forward. The first time you miss an appointment, your heart tugs big-time! But, it is not that you don’t care, it is way more than that.
You DO CARE about yourself enough to be who you want to be – free of the dye!
Once I just decided, off I went. Now, as I reflect, I look at it as a journey of rekindling a love with a dear old friend that I missed all these years.
Sure, I was scared when I started, but I went on with extreme excitement. You know you’ve made the right decision when you’re excited about it. I tried many times before that and I wasn’t ready. But, every time I broke that promise to not color, and then went back to it, I felt like I was letting myself down.
That’s where the “I don’t care” thoughts bred and grew.
The truth is once we decide that we don’t want to color, it is that we do care! Hair is just hair – it’s the person under the hair that is beautiful, confident and caring – any shame we feel about our decisions (to color or not) make us less beautiful, less confident, less like we care.
We create our own illusions about what we see as beauty, one way or another, when we go against ourselves, not against society. We use society ‘norms’ as an excuse. I know I sure did for a long time.
I grew tremendously during the course of the 2-years and so did my hair! My fears of looking like Don King didn’t come true…thank goodness for that!
I learned more about myself, and how badly I felt about who I was when I was covering up the real head of hair I had just waiting to shine and sparkle. Before that, I was ashamed when I went too long in between colorings. I was fearful I’d look old. I was afraid I’d look like Elvira when I went too dark. I was afraid of who I really was under all the wrong hair color(s)…the real me is the real deal, why would I not want to see me?
The day I realized I wanted to see my trusty old friend, aka, the real me, comforted by a “you’ve got this” attitude – a sense of peace overcame me. All the strength I needed filled me enough to walk away from the salon appointment with just a hair trim. Never to go back to the (color) bottle again.
I’m thankful for the journey, and I remain at peace with my decision to go gray. If you’re trying to decide to do so, my wish for you is that I hope you are true to your own beauty dreams or decisions – “Beauty dreams don’t come true – your beauty decisions do!”
Post Inspiration – #MyBlogMyWritingStyle – 30-day blogging challenge (rules here), word prompt- Peace, and Question of the day – “Describe how blogging gives you a sence of peace”. My answer to that question is that blogging provides a personal space where bloggers can write their unfiltered thoughts, share their thoughts with others, and be as creative as they want. The platform’s potential for exposing authenticity creates a great sense of peace for me.
PS – What decision in your life brought you a great sense of peace?
Happy for you..I can’t get past 4 weeks, then I give in and off to the salon
Thank you, Alice. I’ve been there, and understand the decision to do so! 🙂
The greatest gift you can give yourself is be at peace with yourself and when you know the real you,the joy has no limits Thank you for this Frank expression.
That is a very astute way to express peace with ourselves, thank you for sharing! I’m grateful you appreciated my frankness :-)!
When you are comfortable in your own skin and hair it really shines out for all to see. There’s nothing more beautiful than a person content with themselves, perfect just as they are 🙂
SO true!! Even when our skin colors change with each hot flash, we’re beautiful being content with ourselves! I love your Wednesday One-Liner post today! Happy Wednesday to you! https://cathdean.com/2018/09/12/one-liner-wednesday-knitting-hazards/
Hehe – fortunately I’m a big fan of plum, rapsberry reds, golds, and coppers so I blend in well when a tropical moment occurs 😀
Way to embrace your beauty decisions!! 🙂
Enjoy your hair young Lady … full speed ahead. I think so what if if my hair is gray … I still have hair, not hair club for men hair, or hair plugs, spray on hair or a rug that is not at all complementary despite what smiling people say, At my age, I still have hair and need regular hair cuts. Yep, that’s me going down into the barber shop. Keep celebrating your hair Ms Shelley … we both have been blessed! g
Thank you, g! I will, and by the way…thanks for calling me “young”! Your support and comments made my day! 🙂
I don’t dye my hair and I don’t wear much make up. I am who I am. Truthfully though, I don’t have much gray. I wish I had more hair in general as it is very fine and very thin. I’d take a bunch of gray hairs if it would give me more volume!
Thank you for sharing your beauty secrets! 🙂 I love how you share your smile all the time, to me someone with a smiling face is the most beautiful face of all, regardless of hair!
Ha, no! Definitely not Don King. Your curls are great. My beauty decision: the last time my family moved, a couple years ago, I decided not to wear makeup every day. I’m allergic to some of it and it makes me eyes itch. So… other than my swipe of red lip stain (I guess I am a Southern gal!) I generally wear nothing but lotion for everyday. It’s my norm, so when I wear mascara I get compliments, because it’s special. But when I don’t, people aren’t saying, “Wow, you look so tired” to me all day!
LOL – thanks, it’s reassuring that I wasn’t the only one thinking I missed the DK mark! I’ve been doing less and less makeup since going gray. I haven’t kicked the habit when I go out in public yet, and I’ve been caught in front of the mirror wondering why I look so tired…but I usually am LOL! Your smile, natural beauty, and confidence are what speaks louder than any makeup would! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Love the long hair. You have inspired ne to add my photo of gray and long. LOL Growing older really aint for sissies! SO many attitudes in the world and culture of being young and beautiful. But being brave to be gray shows grace and refinement. Well done.
Thank you, you’re right, aging ain’t for sissies, it’s for ROCKING it gals! 😉 Thank you for your support! 🙂
This is an interesting post and a hot topic for me. Believe it or not, I didn’t start coloring my hair until I was 61 or so. Now I’m 63, so enjoying a very dark auburn shade is new and fun for me. However, I’ve often thought about letting it all go and wearing long, gray hair. I do worry about the texture. My gray hair is course and frizzy. Any suggestions on how to manage the texture of gray hair?
Hair is a hot topic, it’s such a personal choice, so I say, ya gotta do what works for YOU! My hair’s texture changes with the weather. It is way softer now that I don’t color, but it is curly and unruly for some days. I do a very simplified version of the curly girl method, and that seems to work for me. Once I ditched the dye, I’ve also committed to ditching all the products needed to make the curls do the fancy stuff. I believe all the different chemicals and washing too often as we age contribute to the funky hair. It works for me, but I can’t say it would for everyone. There’s a transition that the hair has to go through when you stop coloring and stop washing too often. That is a challenging phase, but worth it in the end!
Great to hear all this, thank you! My colorist always warns how difficult gray hair is to manage. I’ve never heard the other side of it–as you mentioned, it becomes more manageable. I’m not a chemical person AT ALL (I don’t do manicures, pedicures, etc.), so living without the chemicals in my hair would make me happy. Something to think about!
You’re welcome – happy thinking! 🙂 PS – no matter what, your beautiful smile shines the brightest!
I think your grey hair looks fantastic. I colored for over 30 years. When my hair came back after chemo, it was uber curly- like wrap around your finger on its own curly. They call it “chemo curls”.I decided to let it stay grey. I’m fine with it. Finally getting used to the curls but haven’t cut it yet even after 2 years. I love your curls.
Thank you! My mother in laws hair after chemo came back without curls, but lovely soft waves and a beautiful silver color that makes her blue eyes sparkle. I’m so happy to read you survived and thrived through your chemo journey and that you’re embracing your grey too! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! xx
Thank you Shelley. I’m glad your m.i.l. is doing well. 🙂 What’s weird is that my hair was only slightly wavy before. So when it came back so curly it was a shock. Grey & curly- who’s hair is this?? Ha!
Aw, thank you, she is doing well. Hair is weird, that’s for sure. I remember the first chop I took after I stopped coloring, it was like looking at a stranger at the same time an old friend. I love how you’re embracing your curly locks now!! xx
Hair is VERY weird! Ha! I used to be a hairdresser. Hair is great while it’s on the head. It’s like an artistic medium. But it’s awful once it’s off the head. A piece of cut hair can lodge itself into your skin like a barb. It’s like a Jekyll & Hyde thing. Ha!
Yikes – LOL – that’s a new take on hair I hadn’t considered! You’re fortunate to have a great understanding of hair as yours changes over time.