Adventures · Emptying the nest

An empty nest time traveler

I’m an empty nest time traveler.  Yessiree, I am.  I can flash through memories in a heartbeat, and be transported back to moments in time that tug damn hard on my heartstrings.

Other times, it isn’t such a conscious effort.  Often times it happens while I’m trying to sleep.

I can go from one space to another space in a dream’s notice.  And then suddenly be awakened, right back where I started the night before.  In my, own bed, in my empty nest.  Next to Mr. who’s still sleeping.

It was different when our kids were little and screaming for a cuddle and reassurance or a warm milky breast to calm them.  Those days were tiring and rewarding at the same time.  I adored it when they’d go right back to sleep so I could do the same.  Even if it happened to be in the same rescue chair we sat in to start with.  I didn’t like it so much when the visits involved projectile vomiting.  I had to be more alert to deal with those events.  It was hard to go back to sleep after that.

Last night, I took a long drawn out reminiscing journey.  It started when I went to bed early, tired from the long weekend, I guess.  Or maybe it was reliving the emotional rollercoaster I was on while missing the kids for Easter.  And memories of seeing them get ready for Prom.  Yeah…it’s prom time in our town this weekend.  It’s been a long time ago since we had prom prep happening here.  Or both of them being there for each other to share hugs when they graduated from college.

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I thought about them when they were little running to catch the bus in the morning.  Before they learned to drive on their own.

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I try hard to avoid reminiscing journeys before bed.  Plus, I know if I go to bed too early, I will wake up in the middle of the night.  I did both, and the later was, of course, due to the need to pee, and causing extra fun for myself to try to get back to sleep.

An active empty nester travel brain will do that.  Every time.  Bouncing from thought to thought, right along with each toss and turn.  Until I eventually crash and burn into a deeper sleep.

Before that, though, I often wonder about the kids.  I say a little prayer to myself, as I remember doing so with them each night we’d tuck them in:

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.  Of I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

Back in the day, when they were big, driving and transporting themselves in 3-ton vehicles.  My worries changed.  I’d fall asleep fast, trying to get winks in before I’d start to worry about their whereabouts.  If I didn’t hear them return, I’d toss and turn until I got up to verify if they were home or not.

When they were in high school, I’d easily reassure myself.  I’d wander down the hall, look down at the front door, flash on the entryway light, check for their shoes strewn about, and glance out the sidelight to see if their cars were parked in the driveway.

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Once I did that, I could relax and count sheep.

Systems check…all there…it was easy to go back to sleep.  After I peed, of course.

Sorry, this isn’t really just about peeing, but it is pertinent.  Especially to me when I gotta go as often as I do.  Last night was no exception to the general rule of tiny bladder syndrome.  I wonder if my kids will inherit that from me?  So far, not the case, so hopefully I’m the only one afflicted with the issue.  I digress…

But I thought about that, too, last night after the 5th trip to the bathroom.

I dozed off and was startled by something sharp poking my lip.  Was it a spider?  Yikes?!  I grabbed my lip and tossed whatever I imagined it was to the side.  And rolled over facing the other direction.  And fell back asleep.

I traveled to dreams about last year at this time.  We were preparing to move our youngest 3 hours away from us.

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At least it wasn’t 6 hours away like the time before that.

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She was excited about the new journey.  I was torn.  I had just gotten used to her being back in town after graduating from college.  Every mom wishes their kids will return to their home town, right?  Especially after saying goodbye to the Windy City!

I dozed off as I watched flashbacks of the memories of her walking ahead of us in the park that day we left her in her new home, in a new town.

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She’s happy there, I’m happy for her too.

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Both kids are happy in their new homes far away from us.  I still miss them, even if I’m pleased that they’re doing so well where they are sprouting their new adulting lives.

It’s different to stay connected with your kids once they are all officially out of the nest.  I’m so thankful for SnapChat.  Really – yikes…a social media app that I’m thankful for?!  Sigh.  But I am.  Yes, I am.  A daily dose of seeing their smiles or whatever they are up to makes me happy.

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I also can send them a Snap of my outfit so they can send a thumbs up or thumbs down before I head out the door.  That’s a funny story…for another day.

I fell asleep.  Again.

I was awakened for the last and final trip of the night by the hum of a small motor boat, putt, putt-putting along, purring as it bounced over the waves.  Along with that in the distance was the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks.

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They say when you have to pee, you’ll dream about water.

They also say, that happens even when you’re young, not just when you’re an empty nester in her mid-fifties.  So there.

The noise I was hearing was the sound of Dessy purring, “Purr…purr…purr…purr.”  And thoughts of the kids in the water splashing…

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Dessy was real and no doubt purring loudly in anticipation of food in her breakfast bowl.  And the surf crashing sounds were Mr. snoring rhythmically on the other side of the bed.  He slept through the motorboat and subsequent jarring of the paw to the face, so I got up.

Transported myself to the kitchen for a cup of coffee – once again – I made it to the next day, a successful empty nest traveler, yes, I am.

Post Inspiration – A-Z Blogging Challenge – T and Dutch Goes The Photo – Tuesday Photography Challenge – Connection

PS – How about you, do your dreams transport you back to memories that help you stay connected with your past?  What’s the craziest dream you’ve had about spiders or motor boats?  How do you stay connected to your adulting children?

39 thoughts on “An empty nest time traveler

  1. Oh my this is just so touching. I can relate to all of it. The photo of your 2 girls on their way to the bus stop…I got a lump in my throat. What is the quote? “to have a child is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body” – so true. Beautiful stories and photos.
    It is time travel; but a really good one too. Even in dreams. 🙂

    1. Aw, thank you, I’m thankful you were able to relate to my travels. Us EN moms know what it is like, that’s for sure. Yeah…that picture of them running to the bus is a keeper. They were so excited to catch the bus together for the first time. I was back behind them crying!

  2. Memory Lane is such a fun place to go. Wonderful shots of a loving family. I so see what you mean about the barn destroying your lovely view. Oh and I love the white house that is evidently across from your rental or maybe across from one of your girls. Neat house. Have a great week. Its cloudy, rainy but above above 40 so it all good. Next week it will be summer.

    1. Yes, it is fun to stroll down that lane. Yes, that darn barn/shed is HUGE and blocks all the nice sunrises. I’m trying to adjust, but still…! Yes, the house is across the street from our rental. Our youngest lived there before we moved her to the next town. Hope you have a great week – it is nice here today, will be early spring/freezing later, then back to summer next week. LOL! PS – I was so touched by your weeping lily post! Nice job!

  3. What great memories and pictures you have! Now that I am in the studio I’m hoping to be able to go through and organize our old pictures to put them in scrapbooks. I have the pee issue too but that’s because I drink a ton of tea in the evening. I don’t have any problems getting back to sleep though, thank goodness!

    1. Yay – you have all the great tools to make spectacular scrapbooks. My kids will be lucky to have photos in photo albums! 😉 Thank you for admitting to the tea consumption and subsequent peeing issues. You’re lucky you can get back to sleep without problems!

  4. Such a sweet post. I like the photos you’ve included with your thoughts. It’s wonderful that you can look back on their childhoods with happiness.

  5. Ah, it’s hard adjusting to the empty nest. I’m not sure we ever do, but life changes. I find as I age that my dreams are often back in my birth family in previous homes, etc. Dreams are strange. Every so often I have one that is so disturbing it takes my whole morning to stop feeling upset or even angry at someone that has no idea they were even in the dream. LOL.

    Glad I’m not the only one texting pics to my DD’s and asking if this or that is cute or weird. haha

    1. Yes, I agree with you. That’s funny that you mention your growing up years, too. I have many of those too. I think that’s normal brain aging dreams. Oh, my, I’ve had dreams like that too – those aren’t my favorite ones, that’s for sure. I don’t like that lingering feeling.
      LOL – Yes – texting photos for approval before we head out the door is a cool way to stay hip. At least I feel more hip and happening when I’ve got their approval first!

      1. My tendency is to shoot them pics from a dressing room before buying something. Saves me time on returns. LOL.

  6. That was wonderful how you tied everything together Shelley with words and pictures … the past, the present … all good memories and keeping in touch on SnapChat on an everyday basis is like having them in the here and now. There is a floor board in the hall at my house and it has always squeaked. Since day one there was carpet over it, but there was/is still a discernible squeak. My mom used to say she would stay awake waiting to hear my key in the side door then she’d drift off to sleep before I made that pesky floor board squeak as I walked to my room.

    1. Aw, thank you, Linda. That’s funny about the floor board. We have a step like that, and the kids knew how to avoid it so that it didn’t pop and wake us up. I’m sure your mom was like me, happy to hear the squeak!

      1. Yes, a mom will worry about you whether you’re a tiny tyke or a grown woman. I suspect many homes have a telltale squeaky board and kid’s tap dancing around it. 🙂

    1. Aw, thanks! Someday you’ll have a photo of your little one(s) doing the same thing. Yes, having so many digital photos is a blessing. It does take me a long time to find them though…!

  7. Bittersweet memories, glad your girls are so happy in their new locations and who knows maybe it won’t be long and they’ll be returning to visit in twos, threes or even fours and going away on holiday leaving you with grandchildren to start creating new memories with! Xx

    1. Yes, they are Marie. I enjoy it when they come back with their beaus and share some time with us. No weddings…or any kids in the near future as far as I can tell. So we’ll take any moments we can get. Every time we’re together we do create new memories!! xx

  8. I love being an empty nester. I can run around an empty house and not listen to my daughters yell out “DAD!!! Put some pants on!!!”

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