There’s this thing about self-modification habits (i.e., changing our appearances) after the age of 50 – no matter what we do, we have emotional battles about our skin with ourselves that can be hard to control.
That is if we let the sagging reality control us.
I’m here to affirm with you that skin firmness we had when we were 20-something just ain’t happening anymore, once you hit 50. Nope.
You don’t have to be someone special to achieve something amazing. You’ve just got to have a dream, believe in it and hard work. – Jessica Watson
So, to prove I’m right, and out of curiosity, I did a reflective look back to my 40’s to see if I had love handles then or not. I did by the way. It’s my short waist, prone to such things.
Enter in a slide show of the decades. Feel free to skip on over them if you’re not needing to affirm your assumptions that I’m quirky. Wait…I claim to be – quirky.
In 2005, all naive about the hot Jamaican sunshine, Mr. and I experienced our first whirlwind trip for our niece’s wedding held in Jamaica. We were only there for 3 days – 2 nights and were determined to get as much sun as possible.
Enter in – Wisconsin white flesh, short-hair, braces, and an affirming admiration for the shady spots. Exit out, scorched skin (three layers deep) – forever to be burdened with freckles. That was dumb and involved really yummy tasting rum drinks.
Next trip 4 years later – we took our kids. We wanted them to experience why we fell in love with the beach and the sun (safer, only a little bit of burning and peeling involved). I got brave, danced with the kids, watched them have fun, and they fell in love with Jamaica, too. I have since discarded the blue sweatpants still have the shorts. That was the year I started coloring my hair to look younger. Sigh.
We loved that trip so much, we went back again in 2012. The year my mom passed away. It’s a bittersweet trip, we were there enjoying the sun while she was on Hospice and heading into her last days on earth. She whispered to me to have fun, and she waited for my return before passing away. I was pretty stressed that year and felt less like hiding and more like just enjoying cocktails in the sun.
Then our last trip, in 2015, I really stressed about weight and worried about how I’d look at the beach. I worked hard to lose the weight I had piled on and carried since the previous trip. Mr. and I were running 5-k’s and 9-10 mile runs on our own at that time. I had turned 50 the fall before, and a neon red suit was appropriate for saying, “Hot damn I made it to 50”, right?
As I looked back at the photos, I admit, I’m not overweight by some blasted chart’s measurement at the doctor’s office. As a woman, though, I have my own selfish worries about appearance. What the hell is that all about – why are we so hard on ourselves?
Every being has the need not only to be but to affirm his own being. This is especially significant for the human organism, for it is gifted with, or condemned to self-consciousness. – Rollo May
It’s more important to be healthy, make good choices involving moderation in food and beverages, and the biggest thing for me is to celebrate life with those I love hanging out with.
That’s what our upcoming trip is about. Instead, I’ve gotten off course worrying about the wrong things, I should refocus on what matters most. It’s not about what swimsuit to wear, what to cover up (except for LAYERS upon LAYERS of sunscreen!) – no, it’s more about affirming the love of adventure, love with family, and being able to love myself for who I am. I don’t need a month to discover that, I just need to do it.
I’m also here to question the validity of ‘miracle exercises’ on YouTube promising to change areas that have proven to enjoy sagging locations in the form of my love handles.
I ain’t buying it, but I’m still going to give it a try – you know, just to prove I’m right and to maintain the loss of pounds in Dry January, so I can gain them back while eating the delicacies in Jamaica.
Come on now, don’t smirk, you know it’s true, and besides that, what girl doesn’t want to be right? I sure enjoy it.
And, in case you’re wondering, the ground here is still frozen solid, and sweat does not form without freezing and that’s way worse than sweating in the summer. Despite John’s suggestion yesterday to run around the yard in my bikini, I chose to throw on long shorts and a long sleeve shirt and hit the treadmill for 20-30 minutes, while I read a book.
As we age, it’s important to not want to fall or stumble while doing exercises. I’m fairly coordinated, but I did wipe out on my bike this past summer, so I’ve got that fear working its way to my overall choices in exercises. With a broken rib, running was out, and walking was in. And frankly, I fell in love with the walking mode.
I’m no worse for wear. In fact, after doing yesterday’s assignment of Identify Target Areas, I pulled out my handy-dandy bright pink post-it note paper that had my measurements from 2015 and 2016, taken after our last trip to Jamaica. I successfully gained 7 pounds that trip, never really lost it (it’s been more of a yo-yo deal), until recently during Dry January 2019 – according to my new measurements, that is. I lost an inch on most of them. But curiously enough, my calf measurements stayed the same, so um, running and walking seem to be all they need to maintain.
It’s the love handles that still seem to crave some affirming attention. But after looking back through photos, I’ve always had them, no matter what I’ve tried. They are me. The ‘me’ that Mr. loves for the past 30 years worth of time, and that’s all that matters, right?
Now, I’m off to deal with something else! What is with the obsession of red swimsuits?
Jeez…and also the repeated clothing…I need to sort my clothing, I was planning on wearing those same green shorts! The curses of being close to the same size for decades means you hang onto clothes that still fit…maybe I should focus on that instead? And to find a tankini…yeah…a tankini is sounding like the perfect love handle fix to fall in love with protecting my love handles from too much sun exposure! And some exercises for my skin to do its thing to age gracefully while it’s at it – yep, all of that goes perfectly well with my colored-free gray-haired sparkles! They are gonna love Jamaica! xx
Post Inspiration – Linda G. Hills’ Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Affirm and Challenge – Fall in Love With Your Over 50-self #FILWYO50SF
PS – At what age does a woman stop fretting about weight? Is it a lifetime kind of thing? What about guys? Do they worry too? Do you do Pilates or yoga for your love handles, share the link to your favorite exercises.
Dang! I wish I had your figure even when I was younger. LOL! You shared such lovely pictures along with your story. Very nice indeed.
Aw, Becky, you’re too kind, thank you! We have had some wonderful adventures in the sun :-)!
I live the photography! Great looking family Shelley. You look lovely in your bikini. Thanks for mentioning me too. 😬❤️☺️
Aw, thanks, John! You’re welcome – today it is going to be 40 degrees…maybe I’ll take a walk outside with a light coat on! Still too cold for bikinis!!
That’s a heat wave! Enjoy your walk. ☺️
I shall :-)! A little extra dose of Vitamin D!!
Great post. That sure does look like a beautiful place to go on vacation. I love the beach!
The weight issue is multi-layered. I think, if you’re lucky, it goes from fretting to acceptance. And the acceptance, hopefully, leads to peace of mind. And then the attitude that often comes with aging…do whatever ya want to!! 🙂
Thank you – I love your take on acceptance and peace of mind. I’m getting there, slowly but surely!! xx
You’re most welcome 🙂
Lest I slip up and say something stupid, I don’t think you need to worry or stress over your appearance.
I respect and truly appreciate your reply!
I don’t worry about my weight as much as a I probably should. Mary worries about hers a little more, but still, it’s not a priority for her. Neither of us is diabetic; if we were, I’m sure we’d worry about it more.
You’re fortunate to not have to worry about diabetes – my mom struggled with it once she hit her late 40’s until she died. Probably why I’m so neurotic about weight. Good for you and Mary – your partnership in life makes it easier to stay the course on what works for both of you together! Plus now you’ve got a growing family to think about!!
Weight has always been a thing for me and the only time I was ever really “thin” was after I had my jaw wired shut for eight weeks. Not doing that again. You look fabulous and 7 pounds is neither here nor there on you!
Thank you, Janet. Oh, my, I wouldn’t want my jaw wired shut either!! Yikes!
great story, but ouch on the sunburn
Thanks, Alice – it was painful, that’s for sure!
Oh, I cringed for quite a while over the severe sunburn photos! I think you look hawt in your red bikini, no tankini required, unless, of course, you’re in need of retail therapy. You guys are adorable.
Yes, that expression fit mine when I looked back at the photos, too! We were in pain, that’s for dang sure. Aw, your kind words encourage me. I dreamed about retail therapy last night…
Women are programmed to be concerned about their looks from a very early age. It lasts a lifetime I’m afraid. I’m 73 this year and I just heard about a new Michael Mosley book called Fast 800 which I will be purchasing soon. Each woman has her own hang-ups even though everyone else sees them as pretty perfect just the way they are. At my age, I realise no one even cares how I look (only me), so I do what I can, moisturizer, sunscreens, stay out of the sun, yoga is my choice of exercise these days. We also have 37 degrees today 98 farhenheit. It’s was already hot at 7.30 this morning. Only someone younger than me would venture out in it. Your holiday and photo’s are great, thank you for sharing them.
Yes, we’re programmed, that’s for sure. As a mom of two daughters, I worry that my stupidity wears off on them – hopefully only the good parts of staying healthy that I try to do. You’re right, we each have our own hang-ups. You’re on the right track for taking care of your skin and self by all the things you listed – way to go! I hope I’m doing the same when I hit 70. I read Mosley’s Fast Diet books – we actually do that most of the time. I’ll have to look into the Fast 800. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Barbara, I so appreciate hearing your perspectives!
Hi again Shelley, one of the things I did do this year is ditch the one piece swim suit and the tankini. I bought myself a couple of Rash tops and separate swimmer bottoms. The rash (rashies) tops are long sleeved, one zips up the front and they give factor 50 protection against the Australian sun. We have a swimming pool and I didn’t want to miss out all summer. I’m very happy with them.
That’s smart – I’ve heard about those rashies – I’m anxious to see if many people are wearing them in Jamaica this time. Your wise to wear one so you can stay out in the sun. At first glance I wondered if they are ‘hot’ in temperature, I can’t imagine wearing long sleeves in the hot sun. But they must not be?! Thanks for sharing, I appreciate the hot tips!
I think you look fantastic in all of these! Truly, your smile radiates, so I hope you can focus on that and on the feelings of vacation with the fam!
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http://www.areweadultsyet.com
Aw, thank you! Whenever I’m with my peeps, especially on vacation, I’m smiling, so that’s an easy task to take on!
It took about 50 years, but I’ve finally accepted that I have very fair skin. Sure had my share of three layer burns in my youth and feel thankful for resilience. Let’s stay healthy!
Those 3 layer burns teach lessons, don’t they!?! I’m on my way to buy some more sunscreen, I sure the heck don’t want to burn like that again! Yes – stay healthy, JoAnna!
Lovely pictures. I tried to find any love handles, but o think you might have just imagined them!
Thank you, Sue – I didn’t share those photos… 😉 I was too mortified by them – they happened when the cocktails kicked in and I stopped holding in my stomach LOL! ;-(!
If you can wear a bikini in your 50’s, you’re in the minority!
You and your Mr. look so adorable and happy, year after year. You deserve to enjoy yourself on vacay–that is always my trick, lose a few before so I can eat all I want of the local delicacies!
Thank you, Rebecca. We had a fun chat over the photos last night. And yes, that’s my secret, hopefully I can maintain the loss before hand so that I can indulge guilt free. We shall see!
If you feel good, then you’ll look good. Forget numbers, connect with your spirit and live! That’s my affirmation.
That is excellent advice!!!
Hey,
I’m working on my debut poetry book and preparing a mailing list. Would you like me to add your e-mail address please? If so, can you share it with me?
I don’t plan to do it like hard core promotion, I will be e-mailing you privately not through any software.
I will just inform you when it’s available and when there is some huge fluctuation in price (sale etc.), as on WordPress reader, posts get lost in stampede.
I won’t be mailing you more than 4 to 5 times a year, and that’s max. Promise!
And if you want it to share it privately you can do that through contact form on my blog.
Thank you 🙂
Congratulations! How exciting for you! My email is shelley@quaintrevival.com. I’ll watch for your email. I wish you wild success!!
Thanks a lot Shelley 🙂
You’re welcome!!
🙂
You look much younger than 54, that’s for sure. I got burnt like a lobster in Puerto Rico – painful and wasn’t trying to get a tan, it was just sightseeing but I am quite fair and mousy-brown hair (still fair, but highlights/lowlights in the mousy brown hair). And, we have something else in common – (wish it was bikini size but it’s not)… I got braces when I was older too. I was 20 years old and had them on my teeth for three years. They were the metal, whole tooth wrap-around each tooth, rubberbands and two sets of headgear (worn at home only thankfully).
Aw, thank you, Linda. Ugh…sun burn is a pain – I’ve been burned too many times, and I don’t enjoy the freckled appearance. It didn’t come though until after the 3 layer burn that first trip to Jamaica. I got my braces at 40 when both of my kids were going through it at the same time. My husband had the kind you did, and he couldn’t believe how technology had changed and how ‘easy’ it was for the kids! He told many stories about those bands and the tools they used to put them on. Yikes!
It sure is a pain – I am sorry I burned so bad when I hear what harm I did to myself … believe me, my mom told me “don’t lay out in the sun, your skin will look like shoe leather” but I didn’t listen of course. My mom and grandmother used Noxema on their face every day for decades. My grandmother always had a jar sitting on her nightstand and later in life, she had a bottle of sherry on her nightstand. Everyone in the family laughed about her sherry and glass … her heart doctor recommended it. So, it was Noxema the face, then down the sherry. 🙂 Oh your husband was right – the braces today are a piece of cake. They would wind your wires with a gizmo that made your teeth too sore to even eat a banana … we always had something mushy for dinner when I went for my orthodontist appointment. And the headgear going back and up at the same time … those two plus the big curlers and sometimes I slept when my head hanging over the side! Plus multiple sets of rubberbands – the indigity of it all, but worth it in the end.