Some mornings I long to start the day on the glamorous side of sludge.
Then reality sets in.
I grab my cup of coffee, heat it in the microwave while opening up the Greenies bag. I toss one out on the floor just in time for Copper as he rounds the corner. Step one done.
“Meow, meow, meow…”
Just wait already, I’d like a sip of coffee first. Jeez…
I’m reminded as a pet lover, I’m responsible for the prompt supply and removal of pet sludge. Unless I’m on vacation and have someone covering for me who throws the routine on end, or my husband gets up before me to take on the role – sludge maintenance is my job.
I take it seriously though. If I don’t do things in a certain routine, there’s minor uproar in the house.
“Meow, meow, meow…”
Yes, already…just one more sip of yesterday’s heated up coffee first – please, pretty please! Someday a fresh & hot cup of coffee would be nice.
I pop the cup into the microwave again, not quite hot enough to stay warm whilst other things get done.
I find it best to go through the motions. Doing so minimizes disruptions and prevents howlings later in the morning.
Some days they do let me get the fresh coffee started after I remove yesterday’s used coffee filter. As I toss it in the garbage, I can’t help but think of how close of a resemblance to the pet food in their cans my day-old coffee grounds look. Ewe.
But the smell of fresh coffee brewing…ah…that’s a great smell to cover up other smells of the morning routine.
Beep, beep, beep.
I grab my cup of coffee out of the microwave, take a quick sip first as I set my cup down (ouch that’s too hot – great a burned tongue to kick start the day). I grab their cans of decadent pet food and proceed through the motions.
Plop, plop into the bowls the cat food goes. The meows sounds are gone and replaced with sounds of joy.
“Gobble, gobble, snort, snort.”
I gaze down as I grab the broom. Goody…fresh aromatic treasures abound in the litter box (freshly brewed coffee smells aren’t strong enough to cover today – what’s in that food anyhow that makes it smell like this…?). Dang, the removal bucket is full. Another dumping step added in today’s morning ritual. It is garbage day. That lucky garbage man gets a king-sized load today.
I’m amazed at clumping kitty litter – whoever created that must be living the rich and famous side of sludge. Our two cats can produce some massively impressive by-products from their delicacy eaten throughout the day.
I give a shake to the cat’s dry food dispensing unit (‘cuz, you know, they might get hangry later).
“Snort…snort” continues on as I leave the room in stunned silence, carrying the treasure bucket to the emptying zone.
I return with an empty bucket and dutifully scoop poop, add more litter, mix well, sweep the floor, and move on to the pup’s routine.
He’s waiting patiently at the top of the stairs.
Doing a cute little anticipation dance, tapping his nails (that need trimming) on the floor in joy. He’s adorable, no wonder I spoil him.
I chop up and plop Copper’s food on the floor. Yes, he’s a prince, and can’t eat out of a bowl. He’ll even stick his nose up in the air if he doesn’t like the presentation.
What a mighty dog he is!
He’s got the sludge routine down, yes he does. He even mops up the floor on his own.
At least he gives me time to enjoy my cup of coffee while the consumed sludge moves locations in his body in preparation for its landmine placement in the backyard.
Finally, it’s “me” time.
Wait, something’s missing, where’s that cup of coffee…? Oh yes, in the microwave waiting to be heated yet again.
Beep, beep, beep – it’s ready.
Sip…ah…the perfect temp, no tongue burning this heating round.
There it is, the golden silence of pets off resting somewhere on a glamorous side of sludge.
