Sorting papers from the past, reminding us of loved ones who are gone and reliving memories we’ve forgotten isn’t easy. While memories are precious, it is an enlightening experience to see how much space “must keep” paper (memories) take up and how they influence our lives in some way or another.
This category of papers, is perfect for going paperless!
To remove papers from a loved one who has passed away we need a tried and true recipe.
Your best friends for dealing with this category of “must keep” papers:
Action Steps:
- Listen to podcasts about minimalism as you sort.
- Empty contents of a drawer full of papers from the past.
- Scan only the papers you must keep.
- Shred all papers.
- Celebrate with a martini.
Wait…why celebrate you ask? Isn’t it sad to go through loved one’s papers? It depends on if you have you sorted them before or not? If it isn’t the first time you’ve sorted the papers, trust me, it is therapeutic to scan and shred papers you have dreaded or put off sorting for way too long.
As a parent, not wanting to repeat paper cluttering history, the volume of papers I’ve kept over the years is embarrassing. I don’t want to leave them behind for my kids to sort. Even worse, ten years ago I remember spending every weekend at my mother’s house doing the same exact thing. Weeding through her years of saved papers. She had moved to a memory care facility and could no longer sort papers, nor did she have a use for the memories contained in the papers. As her power of attorney I was, and still am, responsible for holding on to the memories in the form of papers “just in case.”
Yesterday was a day of reckoning. As I was sitting on the floor paging through paper after paper, I realized some of them were the exact same papers I had saved ten years ago. Out of sight, out of mind? Some kept, no doubt, to remind me of her lost memories. But the majority of them saved “just in case” I’d need them or to remember something I assumed she had kept as important.
That’s crazy! In the past ten years I hadn’t needed over 90-95 % of them. The only papers needed were power of attorney papers, life insurance policies, bank statements, and final estate and funeral expenses. None of the other papers were retrieved again until yesterday’s sorting party. Why are they still in my life, reminding me of the past? I’m supposed to keep them right? I’m the one who was assigned to keep them until they are no longer needed “just in case.”
The IRS retention recommendations are a curse, especially for the parties who are responsible for the records after a person passes away. Three to seven years’ worth of papers to just sit there, take up space, and wait for the magic seven-year mark to arrive so they can be set free.
How sad is that? After we die, we live on in boxes…as burdensome papers? After we pass away, I doubt we’d care if our paper records sit idle until someone is brave enough to part with them or not? Do we want to do that to our loved ones? The memories of us should be in their hearts, not in papers waiting to be set free seven years later.
My mom passed away five years ago. According to the IRS seven-year rule, I’ve got two more years to let her papers continue to take up space or find a different solution. I don’t want to go through them yet a third time in two more years. That’s insane!
I used the recipe above and sorted one last time, smiled at the happy memories, freed the not-so-great memories, and shredded the lot!
Ah…sweet victory. My mom would be so proud of me. I trust my heirs will not be disappointed by not having to sort through mounds of her papers ever again. I labeled the files by date and contents. Someday all they will have to do is click the file on our server and press delete. I do hope they toast the event with a martini though. Some customs are okay to carry on in the future.
